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Codename:
Ten Things About Life I Learned from Hellboy
In honor of the impending release of Hellboy II: The Golden Army, I’ll be putting up a few HB-related posts this week. Enjoy!
Ten Things About Life I Learned from Hellboy
Don’t judge a demon by his bright red skin, tail, horns, or habit of occasionally almost bringing about the apocalypse.
If you slam a wooden pole into a vampire charging at you on his undead horse, he will explode.
If it has huge tentacles, breathes fire, or crawls into your world through an extradimensional gate, shoot it–preferably with the largest handgun ever made.
I’m fireproof. You’re not.
Recently-resurrected vampires spouting arch dialogue are difficult to take seriously when they’re not wearing pants.
If you find yourself getting down because your mom was a sixteenth-century witch and your dad is an archduke of Hell, just remember–every family has issues.
Never trust anyone whose head flies off in the middle of the night. It’s just common sense.
For absolute comfort, nothing beats the feel of a heavy trenchcoat over one’s bare chest.
Homunculi are people too. Well, sort of. I guess technically they’re homunculi, but…you know what I mean.
When all else fails, hit it with your rock-like fist again and again and again.
This item has 5 comments (now closed):
Red Kryptonite
07.09.2008 9.20
Ha, AWESOME. I’m adopting item #10 and imagining pummeling my anonymous laptop-stealer with a red rock hand to the tune of that Nick Cave song. How sweet it is.
plain_sliced
07.10.2008 12.03
….the smoking hot girl always ends up with the main star of the show, reguardless if they are not human.
….secret goverment agencies have deep pockets not just for fancy gadgets, but for fashion trendy threads.
….even of the world hangs on the balance, all other superheroes hang back and allow the specific movie’s hero save the world.
….good guy demons love cats.
….good guy demons can save the world from extra-dimensional space monsters, but can’t express their emotions on a piece of paper.
….all good demons love chocolate.
plain_sliced
07.10.2008 14.33
…cigars taste better if lit by wood matches.
…pyscho ninja nazi assasins can live decades, but can’t pick up today’s music.
…the way glasses make a person look smart, having david hyde pierce do voice over makes aquatic people seem smart.
…it always rains during funerals, and black umbrellas are a hot comodity.
plain_sliced
07.10.2008 14.37
…it sucks to be a human in an all super power team because you’ll be the first and only one to die a horrific death.
…resurrected bodies are cranky.
…all villians are required to have hot girlfriends.
…little kids are qualified to counsel big red demons about relationships.
Esbat
07.10.2008 23.47
… pamcakes are spelled with an ‘m’, dammit.