Greetings, it is I, Skeletor, Overlord of Evil!
OK, I seem to have this thing worked out. Tri-Klops got me this new laptop and I’m still getting used to it.
Anyway, I’ve perused your questions, and while some of them–OK, honestly, most of them–don’t warrant acknowledgment as an expression of cognitive thought, much less a reply, I am contractually bound to answer at least some of them.
Mark writes: I have decided to sell about 75% of my collection of Transformers, G.I. Joe etc etc. My reason for doing this is that I think it has taken over me instead of it being a hobby and has prevented me from concentrating on my art and my music and meeting people. Do you think this is the best thing to do?
I would say yes, if collecting has ceased to make you happy. However, rather than selling them right away, I would put them in storage for a while–say, a year, maybe more–and see if you miss them.
See, about five years ago I decided to get rid of all the power gems I had cluttering up my study. I doled them out to local warlords in exchange for their loyalty. But wouldn’t you know it, a couple years later I ended up needing them for a new scheme against He-Man, and I had to slaughter most of the warlords and their tribes when they refused to return them willingly. It was such a headache!
Scott writes: What is the chance one day we will see Mumm-Ra beat the crap out of you?
Bah! Last time I saw Mumma-Ra, he was hawking Spare Change newspapers in Union Square. He can call me when he gets an action figure that was made less than twenty years ago…I’m on what, my fifth or sixth now?
Griffin writes: I am tragically short on space for my collection in my designated collection area, but if I spend money on a new shelving unit I can afford less action figures. So should I get a new shelving unit or the Masterpiece Grimlock?
Get Masterpiece Grimlock. MP Grimlock will eventually sell out, and then aftermarket prices will shoot sky-high. The shelving unit can wait for a tax refund or something.
Jim writes: oh. Skeletor!!!!! Can u pass on the suggestions to Poe for his Matty collector questions?
Mark M writes: What kind of training do you do? Obviously you have to stay in great shape to keep going up against the most powerful man in the universe.
Didn’t I already answer a question from a Mark? How many Marks are there among you humans? As for my workout routine, on Monday I do arms and shoulders, on Wednesday I do calves and lats, and on Friday, I do abs and legs, but not calves. As you recall, I do those, with my lats, on Wednesday.
Googum writes: Skeletor, have you considering restructuring your organization? I mean, I know you don’t want too many competent lackeys or they’ll overthrow you (like Evil-Lyn) but you gotta do better than Beast Man if you’re ever gonna take over Eternia. Maybe outsourcing? What evil minions would you hire away from other toy lines, I mean, evil groups?
This is a question I’ve toyed (ha!) with many times. I’ve been in touch with the Legion of Doom at various times, but as soon as you start talking seriously with those guys the agents and lawyers come in and you just say forget it. All of Megatron’s flunkeys still get work, so what am I left with? Skumm and Nukem? Yess-man and Mo-Lec-U-Lar? Please.
Dark Angel writes: Tell the truth, Skelly: The whole “getting into Greyskull” thing was just your Freudian way of trying to get into He-Man’s furry speedo, am I right? Huh? Kinda like when a grade school boy pulls a girl’s pigtails?
No, it was my way of SHUT THE HELL UP.
Frowny McBeard writes: Speaking of which, who makes the furry underwear with belt combos on Eternia, and just how rich is that guy?
Oh yeah, Tail-Or. He hit it big when he bred a new species of owlbear with lice-resistant fur. Problem is, the stuff is only available as underwear. He says it has to do with the way the hair has to be sewn together, but I think he just gets off on the whole thing.