Maybe you’re like me, and you’ve been hearing a lot lately about the Masters of the Universe Classics toyline (seems like most of the news is coming from this blog 😉
I haven’t been a huge follower of the newly-released toyline (mainly because of the prices), but it’s my impression that Mattel is gouging the living hell out of MOTU fans, and making it a pain in the ass to get the limited edition figures they want.
Recently, Mattel has unveiled its collector’s membership where you can sign up on Matty Collector’s site to be guaranteed a figure when it’s released. That’s a big improvement, but it’ll still cost ya $260 plus shipping on 13 figures. Luckily, the figures they unveiled at SDCC were so cool and badass, everyone forgot about all their belly-aching and decided to sign up (myself included. I really didn’t wanna miss Moss Man).
So, what’s my point with all this? Well, I say screw it. It’s great that Mattel is revisiting our childhoods with the MOTUC toyline, but they know we will do whatever it takes to get these toys, because we are crazed fans with a disposable income.
Howabout we switch it up a bit. Maybe show Matty Collector who’s boss. Instead of reliving our expensive childhoods through Mattel, let’s relive a cheap childhood we never had (most of us anyway). Behold. MOTUB: Masters of the Universe Bootlegs.
For pennies on the dollar, you too can be a proud owner of Mexican bootleg He-man and Skeletor toys. They’re tons cheaper than what Mattel’s offering, and much more unique.
Look at He-man for instance. (Maybe we should we call him Man-Hero. Sounds like a regular, lame bootleg name.)
Where else are you going to find a completely unpainted, Caucasian-flesh-toned Man-Hero figure? Not on Mattycollector.com. That’s for sure.
This figure is kind of versatile actually. You can custom-paint Man-Hero to be any ethnicity. You can even paint him blue.
He’d be a bootleg Faker (maybe his name would be Foney).
Another cool bonus is the figure’s mangled hand with an axe BUILT-IN! This way, he’ll never lose his weapon.
If that’s not enough for you, just put him near a light. You’ll instantly get “crappily-made, translucent plastic, ghostly-glow action.” I don’t remember seeing “Inner-Glow He-man” from the ’80s lineup.
The plastic on this guy is so flimsy, you could probably crush the figure with your bare hands. (Wow. Less plastic. He’s even environmentally friendly.)
Oh, and let’s not forget Skeletor. (Let’s call him Skulldar! Seems like a nice bootleggy name.)
Skulldar is a lot freakier than the original Skeletor. You telling me you wouldn’t be more afraid of this maniacal, scraped-up, melting-eyeball, silver-cap-toothed skull head?
And look how ripped this guy is. He’s so buff, he’s practically swollen. I know the MOTU guys were muscular, but Skulldar really looks like he’s about to burst. I think he’s actually outgrown his armor and cowl and everything.
The figure’s actually more solid and better constructed than Man-Hero. He actually looks like a bootleg of a MOTU knockoff.
Take a closer look at this guy’s belt and bracelets.
Now that’s genuine, Mexican craftsmanship.
Maybe this guy was originally unpainted too. Is this the handiwork of a child laborer on an assembly line, or is it just a custom paint job by the kid who previously owned this toy?
A couple more thoughts. It’s weird. Man-Hero obviously looks like He-Man, but he’s actually a custom sculpt. Not just a recast version of the original Mattel figure. Skulldar, on the other hand, doesn’t really look like Skeletor at all. We’re just supposed to infer that based on his blue-violet color scheme and skull head. I’m willing to bet these two aren’t really from the same series of bootlegs, but hey, don’t they make a great couple?
Justin is a designer and illustrator by day, and weirdo toy blogger by night. He writes regularly for WeirdoToys.com – the virtual home for odd, ugly and neglected toys.