Douche of the Day (now Toy Aisle Trolls)

Hey, here’s an idea for a new feature–the Douche of the Day Toy Aisle Trolls, wherein I highlight the work of some complete douchebag whose life is so incredibly pathetic, he takes out his frustration on the world by scalping, swapping or ruining action figures in packages in the store, or buying them, taking what he wants and returning them with other figures in the package. It’ll be hard to beat this masterpiece of douchebaggery, but I invite you to send in photos of any such incidents you come across in your hunting and I’ll honor your diligence with a TAT post. (Also, if you can think of a better title than “Douche of the Day,” let me know–I can’t seem to get any creative juices flowing right now, no matter how hard I squeeze.)

Today’s douche was whoever did this to the single Captain America vs. Skrull Giant Man pack I saw at the Walmart in Framingham, Massachusetts.


What impresses me most about this worthless human being is that he was actually lame enough only to want that crappy Captain American variant, leaving the Skrull Giant Man behind along with a broken Snake Eyes or whatever that is. And of course, the thing is still out in the aisles with a full-price sticker–Walmart’s expert stock maintenance at its finest.

Wherever the guy who did this is, I hope he catches syphilis from his single lifetime act of intercourse.

Comments now closed (32)

  • Instead of "Douche of the Day," what if the superlative was more specific – specific to toys and specific to fucking it up for everyone else. I was thinking "Toy Aisle Terrorists" or something like that.

    Either way, it's great to rally around a Wal-Mart toy saboteur and hate on him. Ha!

  • Oh man. I don't have a nice enough camera to capture the detail (I did try to take a photo). My Walmart has had only one DCUC 5 pack. It's still there. Other than the box obviously being opened, it looks pretty normal. I almost bought it even. But then I saw… Superman… with RED EYES. DUN DUN DUNNNN.

  • I didn't have a camera on me, but last week at the TRU in Fort Worth I saw on the pegs, Mantis (SP), Black Canary, and Wildcat (black). None of them had the included Chemo parts, and Wildcat had a Superman/Batman stand sitting next to him in the package.
    The thing that really pissed me off was that I still considered buying the Mantis, and the store manager already knew about the missing pieces but wouldn't mark the price down, so alas he stayed at the store.

  • I've got a story that's reverse of this one, where someone got away with replacing the larger, better item. A fellow collector managed to spot a Rancor Target exclusive set (this sucker retails for something like $49.99) that had the super new Rancor replaced with the 1998 POTF2 Rancor. They were sitting right next to each other on the shelf, so it was rather obvious to even a casual observer that it was a swap. Ugh.

    But at least they're kind enough to replace it. I can't tell you how many TRU, Wal-Marts, Targets, and even K-Marts I checked locally to find the Iron Grenadiers ripped out of every single G.I.Joe 2-pack they came in.

  • And what's even more of a pisser is that the store managers / employees who are obviously "aware" of these vagrancies are refusing to mark the prices down! Wouldn't be surprised if in some of these cases, the employees themselves are the ones who do these shenanigans, if not in cahoots with those other douches who also do them……..Really, what kind of dumb-ass employee would even accept a returned package with a broken figure inside it, if that's even remotely what happened here ??

  • Before anyone thinks I'm too crazy, I do want to point out that my comments are intentionally hyperbolic…

    I think on each of the DoD posts I'm going to try to come up with most creative curse possible for the last sentence.

  • At a WM in a not so great town, someone stole a G.I. Joe Roadblock right out of the package… and the card stayed on shelves for MONTHS…

  • Speaking of MA Walmarts, the Westboro/Shrewsbury Walmart had DC Universe Wave 10 today! Got everyone but Man-Bat.

    However, what annoyed me was that earlier in the week, they had a lone Wave 10 Batman on the shelf, and when I asked if they had any other wave 10 figures, I got the "No." Right, they shipped you one figure…

    Anyhow, they still had Batman, Power Girl and Beast Boy (after I was done, that is).

  • Some people would applaud the swapper for sticking it to the man. UGH.

    Anyway, I don't know how this stuff goes on. When I used to work at walmart there were at least three of us there that were collectors. We would have known that something was amiss. I can't believe that no collectors work at these stores.

  • Just the other day I saw one of those Deadpool packs with the ridiculous cannon thingy, in which the Deadpool had been replaced with a GI Joe something or other. It does seem to be a growing problem. This hobby causes enough headaches without douches pulling crap like this.

  • Poe, I just want to say this new feature is AWESOME!!!!

    I like Douche of the Day. I think Douche-bag is a very underrated word.

  • I think "Toy Aisle Terrorists" is a bit too politically loaded, so I'm going to go with "Toy Aisle Trolls."

    "Douche of the Day" is funny, but not very good branding. I need something I can trademark.

  • My friend works at one of these walmarts, and he is always taking pictures of what he steals, and he talks about it like its fine he will never get in trouble because it was his toy manager to teach him.

    I can't really judge him because well his my best friend, but I do think that it's probably not just adult collectors that are ripping of toys, it can also be little thug life kids.

  • as someone who works in retail, in a large prominent toy store, I have seen all forms of trolling and thievery.. it pisses me off to no end. from GI joe dvd packs with all the new figures removed and replaced with whatever junk they had lying around, to dcuc 2 packs returned as a set of Orion and GL.. to people just stealing the PART they wanted.. we had a wrestling thief who would use a box cutter to get out accessories or figures they wanted (we called him, creatively, razor ramon) (oh, he WAS caught.. twice…)

    we also had someone return an animated skywarp, replaced with the animated sunstorm, who I thought was harder to find.. and the people taking them back never notice, until I come down and show them… its depressing.

    on the plus side, I have watched both kids and adults get caught for their stupidity.. (not often enough, but it does happen) that is very satisfying…

    I hate people… I've actually had trolls TELL me of their plans.. one of them, a skinny loser named "too tall" by all the other collectors, would constantly speak TRIUMPHANTLY of his buying items on sale in one place, and returning them elsewhere at FULL PRICE. whenever he's in the store, I just call security to watch him (which, interestingly, they usually do anyway)

    I could go on for days… but I'll end it for now… its part of why I go to the sites I do, where the collectors are (mostly) actually out to help others. its refreshing

  • I didn't know this stuff was happening so frequently. I never see it. I must shop in the more naïve douche areas.

  • I don't see these blatant swaps as much as I used to in the greater Philadelphia area. Back when the 25th Anniv. Joes hit big late last year, I used to see Tele-vipers ripped out of their Trouble Bubbles all of the time. When I'd go toy hunting, it was almost as if I was following the troll perpetrating these travesties. When I'd approach store employees, most of them knew who was doing it … but could care less.

  • Awww, Poe,…. syphilis is too good for 'em.!!

    Yea, I've seen it, too. The five pack had Superman with long hair, Lex ripped for somebody, and an old Two-Face substituted for the new one. ??

    I pointed it out to a manager… and he went to show the "returns" people.

    I think his comment was: "You collectors know your stuff."

    Yes, it's disheartening to know this goes on.

  • @ JediCreeper : Dude, the Trolls in the stories you shared are just stupefyingly LOW subhumans! To even brag about the crap that they do ??? I think if we ever catch any one of these losers, we should point & scream at them like in the 1979 version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, embarass the crap out of them (well, unless they're as "armed" as your Razor Ramon!)……Well, I'm sure some other Poesters can suggest some better / creative form of punishments for these douches, eh ???

  • At my local TRU, someone's got a thing for the ML two packs. Iron Man was replaced with Iron Man, but it was the Mark II Iron Man from the movie. I have to give him credit for swapping him with the same character, and pulling off one of the shoulder pads to fit in the space where the head swap should be.

    Oh, and another one had Nick Fury replaced by Skrullektra. No reason at all that return should have been processed, except that I'm sure most of the employees don't care.

  • The Framingham Wal-Mart has the Marvel Universe giant packs? AWESOME!

  • @Poe why even bother with a SKRULL figure? that Bendis retcon shiznit be disgusting. A Queen Veranke figure even more so.

  • I have pics i can share. I wish this would stop, but it's only getting worse. There is a place reserved in Hell for these thieves.