The original home of the Bastards of the Universe, Articulated Discussion, is taking a break for the time being. (Come back soon, TAO!) So, I asked Poe if he would give the Bastards a home, and he charitably (or foolishly, depending on your opinion!) said yes!

A little background: since I’m old, I never had Masters of the Universe toys as a kid, or watched the original cartoon. When the 200X line came out, I was working in a mall, and picked up a few at my job. In particular, I remember getting Stratos, since I saved him from the dumpster while working a store closure.

I have no idea how you guys put up with Mattel to get Masters of the Universe Classics. To me, they seem overpriced; from the reports I read, the quality control seems dicey; and ordering seems to be designed to punish you for wanting them.

But, I remembered back when the first MOTU figures ruled the toy aisle, there were a ton of competing lines trying to help themselves to a piece of the action. Remco’s Warlord line, for one. I loved the comic book, but the figures were straight-up knockoffs: the packaging even proclaimed “Plays with Masters of the Universe.” I had a Warlord figure, and a yard-sale found Battlecat; and they were the start of the Bastards.

Conan is a pretty obvious next choice: regardless of the official story, it’s readily apparent he was a huge influence on He-Man. Toy Story 3‘s Twitch may remind some of lines like Sectaurs, but I see a direct line from Buzz-Off to him. And Beta Ray Bill, from Marvel Legends, was sculpted by the Four Horsemen, before they moved on to MOTUC. So, I had my Bastards, and they began their adventures in the Eternia in my head. (A medieval culture that has ray guns, flying things, and cable; and where it’s not uncommon for your running crew to include a robot or bug guy.)

So, to celebrate moving over to Poe’s, we’ve got a contest! I’ve told you why I picked mine, but who would your Bastards lineup include? Robots? Barbarians? Fish-guys? Pirates? To me, that’s kind of the best thing about Eternia: I appreciate that as a line, Masters of the Universe was able to include guys like Ninjor, Clamp Champ, and Rio Blast.

Leave a comment with your four picks, and if you want, a link to a picture of your Bastards, that might be used in a later strip! One will be picked at random and win a loose Marvel Legends Beta Ray Bill, a carded Toy Story 3 Twitch, a carded Conan the Adventurer, and a loose and saddleless Battlecat! (Warlord fans, sorry, but getting a 1982 Travis or a DC Direct one didn’t cost out!)

International? OK, you gotta spring for postage. Sorry.