Toy Aisle Trolls > Double Douche

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe AT poeghostal.com.

Submitted by: Loucheish

The Problem: See Loucheish’s description below.

What It’s Supposed to Look Like: This and this.

Loucheish writes:

Both of the attached items were found at a Toys R Us in Queens, NY.

The tale of these sets goes back over a couple of months. (The date stamp on my camera is wonky, so I can’t be sure just how long.) The DCUC set was first seen several weeks ago. It has to be at least two months, now. I snapped the pic, but never sent it in because, sadly, it’s just so run-of-the-mill now; Lightray swapped with a Cyclotron? Yawn. And I believe that the Orion was swapped the wave 1 non-removable helmet version. But still — it’s aggravating to find, but hardly interesting anymore.

I told employees about the swaps, but found the same set there a week or two later. So I told them about it again. About two weeks ago, I stopped by the store on my way home. It was rather late – just before closing. What did I find but the same set out again. But this time it was joined by what is seen in the second photo (which I’ll describe in detail in a bit). I didn’t have my camera with me, but I did explain my find to a manager. Today, there was no sign of the swapped DCUC set, but those two Marvel Legends sets were back out on the shelf.

After taking a few pics, I made yet another explanation to the manager on duty about what is wrong with them and why they should not be selling them. So what is wrong? Well, at first glance, one might notice the empty pocket where the unmasked Clint Barton head should be. And that skirt Elektra is wearing? Yeah, that doesn’t belong there. Upon closer inspection the reason for the skirt becomes apparent: she has no legs. Oh, and Ronin’s arms have been swapped. (All the nifty weapons were left, though. Odd…)

The cretin did not stop with effectively stealing Ronin’s arms, spare head, and Elektra’s legs, however. Looking over the pack, I noticed the UPC looked tampered with. So I scanned it at the price checker, which told me it was a DCUC vs. MOTUC pack for $34.99. Yup.

So it appears that someone bought two of these sets – likely on clearance for $18, screwed them up horribly, then pasted a photocopy of a UPC from the He-Man/Superman set over the real bar codes, returned the ruined sets to the store and walked away with $34 profit. (Unless he bought the ML sets at full price, in which case he only made 20 bucks.)

Karmic Payback: It’s difficulty to know what punishment to pronounce here, as there may be more than one perp. That said, whoever did the job on the Elektra set is clearly a douchebag who knew exactly what he was doing. I was trying to think of something suitably deserving, but it occurs to me that he no doubt lives a sad, soulless life; disliked by his family; alone but for a few feckless acquaintances; unable to sustain a romantic relationship; and without a single achievement to his credit, with the exception of making a few bucks by stealing from a toy store. Pathetic.

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9 Comments

  1. The Flash III

    Double Deuce will always be about Road House. Sorry, it just will.

    So, Poe, how about "I guess the manager was just being nice until corporate tells him it's time to not be nice." Sorry, haven't watched it in a while.

  2. Heli

    "Double Deuce" does not evoke Road House for me. It's always…


  3. No Road House references from anyone? I'm disappointed.

  4. Dag

    This guy is a huge D-Bag.

    On a side note. Since you said douche in your description. This was the ad that popped up right after your post.

    Douche
    Learn about new ways to freshness. See what Summer's Eve has to offer.

  5. nerdbot

    Okay, I've stopped laughing enough to type now…

    Yeah, I really think that – if not the manager – certainly an employee at that store might be the culprit. It seems to have way more than its fair share of this kind of douchebaggery.

    I have heard of UPC swaps before – I think there might have been an earlier Toy Aisle Troll where someone found a single MOTUC figure at a TRU that had a two-pack UPC. But at least that was using a UPC from the same or a related line (from the same company, at the very least). The unmitigated gall of the f@#$-stain that pulled-off this Elektra pack heist actually surprised me a little bit.

  6. dayraven

    dude, the manager could easily have been the perp… that might explain some things… cuz sure, there are trolls, but doing the UPC swap is an act of criminal genius. it certainly sets this guy head and shoulders over the average douchneck that gets called out in these pieces. this guy is savvy, and pathological. hence my hope that the first time he gets naked with a lady, it turns out to be a pre-op tranny named angelina hole-y with a penchant for buggery and aggressive knife play.

  7. nerdbot

    I'm not sure if I made it clear, but there were two of those Elektra sets – both doctored in the same way.

    After sending these pics in, I saw one of them back on the shelf. This was after explaining, in detail, what was wrong with them to a manager (for the second time, when it came to those ML sets) on my previous visit to that store. I really had the impression that he both understood and gave a damn. I guess I was wrong on at least one count – maybe both.

  8. The Flash III

    You would think that Toys R Us would be the one store that might give a crap about stuff like this, since toys are their trade, but apparently not. I get most my stuff online now so that I don't have to run into these kind of cretins.

  9. Zach S.

    "…and without a single achievement to his credit, with the exception of making a few bucks by stealing from a toy store. Pathetic."

    What a gloriously profound statement.

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