Bat-Libs Contest > Winners & Runners-Up

The fine folks at Figure of the Day have made their choice and a winner has been declared in the Bat-Libs contest! But hold on, we’ll get to that.

This is possibly my favorite contest ever on PGPoA…you’ll soon see why. One thing to point out: I realized too late that I should have specified an action verb that involves an action upon something (words like “crawl” end up reading awkwardly). That said, I think the funniest parts are the “job” and the “adverb.”

First off, the three runners-up, as chosen by Poe’s Power Pals:

nerdbot:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at Gotham City Day Spa and Sushi Palace. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Unlicensed Pet Stylist, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman tickled the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said coquettishly.

Thom Marrion:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at men’s bathroom at Gotham Station. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Guardian Angel Second Class, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman imploded the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said backwards.

3B_:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at “The Ball Drop” Gentleman’s Club. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Forensic Linguist, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman taint-kicked the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said irrationally.

Here are the runners-up chosen by Figure of the Day:

Barbecue17:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at Medieval Times! (the restaurant, not the time period). The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, Nicholas Cage’s Bodydouble #4, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman cogitated the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said facetiously.

MrG:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at Denny’s. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Septic Tank Pumper, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman sucked the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said voraciously.

Ronnie Lane:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at LexCorp Break Room. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Professional Brown-Noser, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman anal-fisted the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said vivaciously.

And the big winner, as chosen by FOTD:

cbomb23:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at the Watchtower. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Digital River Customer Service Representative, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman crawled the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said insanely.

But wait, there’s more! The whole thing is just too funny not to post everyone else’s entries. Enjoy!

VENENOR:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at T-Bone’s Titty Bar and Teriyaki Grill. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Amateur GILF Casting Call Director, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman dropkicked the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said mockingly.

Dante Trevedan:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at Gotham’s Law School. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Elephant Trainer, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman danced the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said eagerly.

 The Fun Has Been Doubled

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at Gotham’s Second National Bank. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Criminal, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman licked the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said eagerly.

Thommy/Uki:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at Captain Geech’s Shrimp Shack. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Underwater Basket Weaver, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman curtseyed the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said voraciously.

Erin:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at the Derelict SmileCo Nutcracker Factory. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Door-to-Door Encyclopedia Salesman, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman judo-chopped the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said precipitously.

Nik:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at Penguin’s Pretty Pony Shop. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Celebrity Florist, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman knitted the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said upsettingly.

Andrew Yowaiski:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at Crime Alley. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Actor, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman hid the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said seldom.

A. MacFrankenstein:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at Studio F. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Cannibal Taste Tester, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman chewed the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said mightily.

LV!:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at the streets of Gotham City, 3AM. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Youthful Ward, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman manhandled the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said diligently.

jackstatic:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at Porter Potty. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Lumber Jack, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman shoved the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said clumsily.

Tom Mathias:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at the Rebel base on Yavin IV. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Assayer, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman snowboarded the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said gallantly.

Jonathan:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at The Fourth Dimension. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Farrier (person who fits horseshoes on a horse), attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman guffawed the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said haphazardly.

Heath Breitenbach:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at Stephanie Brown’s dressing room. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the New 52 Universe Re-namer, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman retconned the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said incidentally.

BrentBrown:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at an abandoned warehouse, down by the docks. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Out Of Work Former Dog Whisperer, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman masticated the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said fiendishly.

Giantdrunkenrobot:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at Monster Island. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Rocket Surgeon, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman hugged the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said grudgingly.

BubbaShelby:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at Lake Titicaca. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Gynecologist, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman retched the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said vigorously.

Chad Barrett:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at the blood bank. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Carnival Geek, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman flapped the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said gallantly.

 Michael Patti:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at Hundred Acre Wood. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Terminator, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman mailed the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said swimmingly.

C. Boyd:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at the Sahara Desert. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Camel Herder, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman injected the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said half-nakedly.

J. Alex:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at Kane School For Fancy Lads. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Flimflam Man, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman defenestrated the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said festively.

Dark Angel:

One dark night in Gotham City, Batman and Robin were on patrol when their police radio erupted with news of an attempted robbery at Madame Pearce’s School for Wayward Girls. The Dynamic Duo quickly swung into action, racing to the scene of the crime in the Batmobile. Upon arriving they discovered a new villain, the Defenestration Consultant, attempting to escape. With a flourish Batman prodded the villain, ending the reign of terror. “Remember, crime doesn’t pay,” Robin said sensually.

 

Comments now closed (5)

  • Runner- Up! Woot-woot!

    Seriously, this was fun. This needs to be a new weekly contest (or at leats monthly)!

    And yes, a Digital River CS Rep definitely qualifies as a new supervillian. Bravo!

  • This is definitely fun! It doesn't even have to be a contest — you could just make it a feature.

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