Auction Feature > The Devil Warriors

While trawling eBay for bootleg luchador figures (naturally), I came across this…thing.

Dictator-for-Life Skeletor

I’m not exactly sure why, but it kind of freaks me out. It reminds me of the “B-17” sequence in Heavy Metal, I think, which creeped me out as a kid. Unlike undead pirates, undead soldiers just seems wrong and kind of politically distasteful somehow – even when they appear to be undead 1960s South American Communist soldiers.

I did some digging and, this being the Internet, found some collectors discussing these figures.

The description below the title has three bullet points:

  • Twisting head and waist – presumably a helpful suggestion for a method of homicide, useful for the sort of person who would purchase this toy.
  • Moving arms, legs – again, the arms and legs of one’s victim, which presumably have been separated from the torso by this time and can now be “moved” to a shallow grave.
  • Playing assortes – Your guess is as good as mine. Google Translate had no idea what the hell “assortes” was, so I can only assume it’s a some sort of secret code among serial killers.

The art featuring the above “Skeleton Guy from The Last Unicorn in Fatigues” was on all the cards. In addition, the eBay seller also had:

The Incredible Melting Man…

The Burgerdier General

Travis Barker with a skin condition…

…and this guy, who looks like one of those incredibly racist WWII anti-Japanese posters.

Who the hell is the target consumer here? Children? Is there anyone irresponsible enough to give these abominations to an impressionable young mind?

Oh, and evidently there aren’t any good guys to restore sanity to the world by sending these miscreations screaming back to the pits of hell. The Devil Warriors depicts a world of horror without hope, the ultimate expression of nihilistic despair.

They also look like pretty shitty toys.

Usually when I find something like this I want one, but not in this case. These things are creepy, awfully made, and in general make me feel icky.

Comments now closed (12)

  • Ahaha,weird find,they look like oldschool TMNT compatible.Skullfaced soldiers creep me out too,I think it was that undead vietnam soldiers from a Twilight zone movie that scared me as a kid.

  • Umm, those are pretty crazy. If I saw them at a dollar store, who knows? I might have grabbed them.

    When were these produced?

      • Ok, cause the sniper rifle on the Burgedier General looks a little bit like the G.I. Joe Mountain Viper's rifle. A lot of bootleg toys tended to use later 80's, early 90's Joe weapons as a basis. I couldn't tell if these were more recent or from the mid 80's .

  • You mean Travis Bickle with a skin condition?

    Anyway, yeah, when I was like 9 I wandered into the living room at 2am because I couldn't sleep, and dad was watching that particular scene in Heavy Metal. It mortified me on a deep level, but I asked if I could keep watching with him and he said yeah. NEVER would have gotten away with that if mom were awake, and that zombie airmen sequence has been burned into my brain ever since.

    Mecha-Shiva- those would indeed make excellent foes for old school TMNT figures- I'm thinking the military turtles in particular (Green Beret Raph, Mid Shipman Mike, etc.).

    • I think I need to try to watch Heavy Metal tonight on netflix. Is this a cartoon or something? It's kind of like a heavy metal musical scifi fantasy, right?

      • Sort of…imagine every Styx, Iron Maiden, Megadeth and Molly Hatchet album cover being given an extremely vague plot and then animated, and you've basically got Heavy Metal.

  • Wow. I thought the card art might have been cribbed from an existing GI Joe card, but I looked through the figures from 1982-1985 and didn't see a match. Still, it looks familiar. And the rifle is indeed a stolen GI Joe accessory.