Toy Aisle Trolls > Mark of the Goon

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe AT

Submitted by: Engineernerd

The Problem: The toy has been stolen from the package.

What It’s Supposed to Look Like: This.

Engineernerd writes: “I was surprised by this scene in the toy aisle this morning while looking for Captain America stuff. This dead beat could be bothered to even exchange it or put the box back together on this Transformer. This is lower than troll. I should mention this happened between 7PM and 6AM as I was there at both times. I’m guessing it wasn’t a kid.”

Karmic Payback: Well, this is just flat-out theft. It lacks any of the villainous imagination of the typical troll; but what I think bothers me the most is the complete lack of effort. It’s like, you just don’t get it, do you, douche? Anyway, for his karmic payback: after death, his obituary will read like a New Yorker review of a Michael Bay film.