Poe’s Point > Twisted Xmas 2: An Xmas Carol

I suggested yesterday that McFarlane Toys create a second series of Twisted Xmas toys, this time based on Charles Dickens’s A Christmas Carol. Given that it’s a ghost story featuring supernatural creatures, graveyards, corpses, and Victorian-era values ripe for the perverting, I think this is a no-brainer for McToys–and a sure-seller.

Here’s how I envision the line:

Ebeneezer Scrooge — a grotesque, hunchbacked miser, carrying a sack of filthy lucre and leaning on a cane with a death’s head knob.

The Ghost of Jacob Marley — a horrific, zombie-like corpse, completely buried in huge chains, padlocks, safes, shackles and other heavy iron objects. His jaw-wrappings would be in shreds, and his rotten jaw would be dangling by a thread of cartilage over his chest.

The Ghost of Christmas Past — the obligatory hot chick of the line. In the novel this ghost is actually a kind of young/old male spirit, but enough movie versions have made it a woman to make it work in the public imagination. This figure would just be a scantily-clad fairy, probably carrying a big candle extinguisher.

The Ghost of Christmas Present — described as a “giant” in the book, I envision McFarlane’s version as a huge, gluttonous ogre. His base would be covered with half-eaten food and his magic torch would be more like a monstrous flaming club.

The Ghost of Christmas Yet-to-Come — C’mon, this one’s easy. Personally I’d love something that looked like the thing from Scrooged, but I have faith that McFarlane would come up with something suitably monstrous.

Tiny Tim — This one would probably be the most tasteless (and there’s always one in these Monsters lines). In the novel he wears those Forrest Gump-style leg braces and carries a crutch. I envision McFarlane’s Tiny Tim as a hulking, deformed teenager with giant robotic braces on his legs–and a crutch like a claymore.


Holiday action figures


ToyFare #126


  1. Poe

    Speaking of OAFE, yo go re posted his own line-up for this idea on the OAFE Myspace blog.

  2. Poe

    Well, I kind of already did that before over on OAFE:

    An OAFEmas Carol

  3. Mumma Ghostal

    You are all twisted and demented.

    However, since there have been a million takes and variations of The Christmas Carol, perhaps Poe can craft one using appropriate toy lines from his youth? Skeletor as Scrooge…? Grimlock as one The Ghosts?

  4. Rustin Parr

    Boo McFarlane!

    Yay Cpt. Power (I think…?) Robot who wants me to leave a comment!

  5. Poe

    I actually had to wrack my brain for a few minutes to think of a sixth figure for the line before my fiancee reminded me about Tiny Tim. I think he would be the clincher for Todd, given the grotesque irony of the design.

  6. Ryan "The Winne

    You, sir, are a wonderful man. I dig all of those ideas muchly, especially the demented Tiny Tim. Christmas Yet-to-Come would freak me out something chronic.

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