Welcome to Part 2 of my detailed Left 4 Dead-themed Most Wanted article, in which I beg Valve and “some other company” to create toys based on one of my recent favourite games! If you’re wondering why I haven’t specified the company I’d like to make these toys, that’s because there’s so many great companies that it doesn’t matter who makes them as long as the toys are great. Although top contender NECA have absolutely showed their chops at making great video game figures, including the Resident Evil zombies we know and love, Mezco have also done a sensational job with their Attack of the Living Dead line, comprised entirely of army-building fully-articulated awesomely-detailed zombies, some of which already resemble L4D characters. Really, it doesn’t matter – the toys are what matters, so on with the show!
LEFT 4 DEAD
SPECIAL EDITION TANK BOX SET
Absolutely not to be messed with, the gigantic horrifying Tank is an enormous, nearly unstoppable zombie whose infection has caused a huge amount of muscle growth, giving it the extreme strength to punch through walls and throw around automobiles. Bigger than the ordinary action figure, the Tank demands its own boxed set, with a built in sound feature to play various yells and grunts as well as the music that plays whenever the beast is on scene, and maybe an accessory or two – some molotiv cocktails for the survivors, a piece of stone debris to throw, or a burnt out car shell to punch around? Fully articulated and entirely awesome, this box set goes with all of the other action figures from the two games as well as all other large action figures, and is a must own!
LEFT 4 DEAD 2
SERIES 1 – Zombies
The enormous quarterback of the zombie world, the Charger is a big zombie whose size rivals the Tank but with only one arm infected, able to rush into the survivors, smashing them all aside to grab one, who is mercilessly bashed against whatever surface the Charger can find. The Charger demands a sound feature, hearing his roars and the sound of him rushing into a victim, fully articulated to attack and bash whatever gets in his way!
Although smaller than his infected brethren, The Jockey is no less dangerous, his short spindly form grabbing onto the head of any survivor, forcing them to rush to a quick death, be it over the edge of a building or into a crowd is hungry infected. A smaller figure than the other zombies, the Jockey should be in a two pack, with one Jockey preposed running across the ground, the other able to fit onto another figure to ride it to its doom, both with some articulation and maybe a base infused with the sound feature of the nasty little giggles and screeches of the scary little thing.
Arguably the most disgusting-looking of all of the Left 4 Dead zombies, the grotesquely disproportioned Spitter features an amazing design, the kind that makes you fascinated whilst wanting to throw up. The most horrible detail is the hanging-jaw, one of many nuances that makes me think this would be one of the most popular of the action figures as it’s genuinely horrifying and would fit in with any other zombie toys. As mentioned with the Boomer, most collectors aren’t fond of action features, but I like to think that the Spitter could quite easily have a water-spitting feature built in without affecting the articulation or sculpt, similar to the fantastic blood-spurting feature from the Kill Bill Crazy 88’s (also made by NECA), and which would add fun playability to the toy, at the very least a nice little easter egg novelty that most collectors probably wont play with but would still appreciate having.
Although only really a variation of the Witch, this special infected starred in the first part of The Passing, her perfect day ruined by the zombie apocalypse. Fully articulated like the previous witch and with removable headdress, she can be seen crying on the ground over her lost bridal party, attacking a hapless victim, or wandering in solace like the Wandering Witches seen in L4D2.
Uncommon Infected (Army Builder)
As introduced in Left 4 Dead 2, the Uncommon Infected are like the regular Common Infected, with limited health and attacking in hordes, but with new special features. Some of the better action-figure-worthy zombies are the CEDA Workers, who were part of Valve’s very clever social commentary on Hurricane Katrina and should feature a bottle of Boomer Bile, the Fallen Survivor, who carries a variety of accessories including a medpack, a molotiv cocktail and a pipebomb, a Clown, with a “honking” sound to attract other zombies, and of course Jimmy Gibbs Jnr.
LEFT 4 DEAD 2
SERIES 2 – Survivors
Coach has a big heart and a healthy appetite, an ex-high school health teacher and coordinator for the freshman football team before the Infection hit his hometown of Savannah. As well as swinging a mean baseball bat (not to mention a chainsaw), his love for helicopters made of chocolate is unmatched. Coach must be fully articulated with his Shotgun, Baseball Bat, Chainsaw, Pistol and Med Pack. The pistol and med pack will fit onto his back, as will one of his melee weapons.
Arguably the most popular of all of the L4D survivors, excitable Ellis is a goofy, beer-loving country guy who likes to work with machines and bore everyone else with his inane, often hilarious stories, usually about his buddy Keith. Ellis must be fully articulated with his Sniper Rifle, Submachine Gun, Guitar, Pistol and Med Pack. The pistol and med pack will fit onto his back, as will one of his other weapons.
Nick was a judgmental, sarcastic conman before the zombie apocalypse hit, only looking out for himself – now he’s forced to work with three others to survive, his once pristine, expensive suit now burnt and tattered against the mayhem. Nick must be fully articulated with his Assault Rifle, Submachine Gun, Frying Pan, Pistol and Med Pack. The pistol and med pack will fit onto his back, as will one of his other weapons.
Rochelle was a low-level associate producer for a big-name news station before a promotion put her right in the centre of the zombie apocalypse, now fighting for her life with three strangers. But a little armageddon isn’t going to get her down: surviving a zombie apocalypse is just something else she can use her wits and drive to produce the hell out of. Rochelle must be fully articulated with her AK-47, Grenade Launcher, Axe, Pistol and Med Pack. The pistol and med pack will fit onto her back, as will one of her other weapons.
There’s only one thing we can really say about the enigmatic Chicago Ted – no zombie is safe.
And thus concludes my plans for a future bestselling action figure line that should, no, must be made! What about you, dear readers? What line would you dearly love to be made from a favourite property? Show us your design chops!
would chicago ted have a grizzled red beard, red hair, and wear cowboy boots?
I agree with all of these choices- although I would like a Zombie SWAT officer as well. This would be a fantastic line and I would definitely buy all of them!