Toy Aisle Trolls > The Cursed Avenger

May 26, 2011 | Poe

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe AT poeghostal.com.

Submitted by: OrccaCast

The Problem: The Bucky-style Captain America that’s supposed to be included in this set has been stolen and replaced with a War Machine figure.

What It’s Supposed to Look Like: This

Karmic Payback: Yet another example of stealing from a toy intended for little kids. I believe there’s a special circle of toy collector hell reserved for these sort of trolls. It’s filled with bratty, irritating children smashing every toy the troll ever wanted or ever will want. Amazing, lifelike 6″ action figures with incredible sculpting and articulation being torn apart. If the troll every manages to pick up one of the toys, it’s yanked out of his hands by one of the kids and smashed flat.

Also he’s on fire.

Toy Aisle Trolls > Lando’s Gone-Missing-An

May 20, 2011 | Poe

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe AT poeghostal.com.

Colt 45 not included.

Submitted by: President Juggernaut

The Problem: A Vintage Collection General Lando Calrissian has been swapped with a Power of the Force version from the 1990s.

What It’s Supposed to Look Like: This

President Juggernaut writes:

Here’s another one from the Framingham, MA Wal-Mart, the same store which was featured in Toy Aisle Trolls a few months back with some similarly swapped Star Wars Vintage Collection Sandtroopers. This time it was a Vintage Collection General Lando swapped out for his POTF2 counterpart. This one really hurt, I was excited to finally see this hard to find figure on the pegs, it really made my day. And then it really ruined it when I actually examined the figure. May their punishment be severe!

Karmic Payback: Ugh, that post title is terrible. Sorry.

This is the closest Walmart to my own house, but I have to say I’m not surprised this was found there–it’s easily the worst, most horrible Walmart I’ve ever seen. If the Framingham TRU is the “magic” TRU (though I’ve recently considered giving that title to the Dedham TRU), then the Framingham Walmart is the necromancer of Walmarts. No, necromancers are competent and kind of cool; the Framingham Walmart is messy, depressing, and never offers anything worthwhile. Ever.

So no, it’s no surprise that a troll got away with this at that place. Nonetheless, I am duty-bound to curse him. I got lazy about it, so I asked Poester Sped, who came up with this: “May he get jumped by cosplayers at his next convention and have the video go viral on YouTube.” I suggested changing the “j” to an “h,” but whatever, works for me.

On a side note, seriously, what were we all smoking when we thought the POTF2 figures were great? That Lando is only slightly less ripped than the earlier POFT2 version, but it still looks like Barry Bonds has been spiking his Colt 45 with creatine.

Toy Aisle Trolls > Bait’ll They Get a Load of Me

May 10, 2011 | Poe

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe AT poeghostal.com.

Joker Black Manta 2-pack

Submitted by: Mainman

What It’s Supposed to Look Like: This

The Problem: There have been many, many terrible Aquaman storylines over the years, but I doubt anyone remembers the one where Orin’s soul was exchanged with the Joker’s.

Karmic Payback: Every single time the douche who did this goes on yet another desperate date through an online dating service, the person he meets will always be approximately 20% older, 75% uglier, and of a 60% different gender than what the person’s profile picture showed.

Writes Mainman: “Here’s one where the Aquaman from the Undersea Assault set has been replaced with a DC Superheroes Joker. I love that this particular troll didn’t think the customer service staff would notice anything odd about the Joker being in Aquaman’s spot, as long as they included Hawkgirl’s spear to fill in for the missing trident. Because without the spear, the jig would surely be up…”

Toy Aisle Trolls > D’oh Joe

May 4, 2011 | Poe

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe AT poeghostal.com.

Found by: EV

What It’s Supposed to Look Like: This, this and this

The Problem: They’ve all been replaced with other figures. I have no idea what those are–anyone know?

Karmic Payback: The trolls’ entire toy collection is melted in a house fire. Also, his house burns down.

Writes EV: “I found this at my Target in Sagamore Hills Ohio. I thought I found a rare Joes at first but to my dismay it was a Troll’s doings.”

Toy Aisle Trolls > Galactic Zeroes

April 11, 2011 | Poe

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe AT poeghostal.com.

Today’s TAT comes from none other than Jazwares product developer and customizer extraordinaire Joe Amaro.

What it’s Supposed to Look Like: This

The Problem: Writes Joe, “Someone took out most of the figures and replaced them with C-3P0s.” They seem to have stolen Uncle Owen, that creepy bug-version of a C-3P0 droid, both Jawas, the Gonk and left a couple extra C-3P0s, Garindan (why?) and a Yoda in their place.

Karmic Payback: Who steals from a little kids’ toy set? What human being is so petty, so selfish, and so uncaring that they would do this? Assigning karmic payback to someone so obviously bereft of any joy or positive emotion in life just seems sad, but I’ll do it anyway: may he pass a kidney stone for every toy he steals.

Poe’s Thoughts: Y’know, the title of some of these Star Wars sets weirds me out a bit. The titles create an odd parallel in my mind with those pieces by Renaissance artists that depict some famous scene from the Bible, such as the Last Supper or The Beheading of Saint John the Baptist. Four hundred years from now, will “Purchase of the Droids” be gawked at by tourists in the holodeck equivalent of the Louvre?

Toy Aisle Trolls > I C Dead DCUC

April 8, 2011 | Poe

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe AT poeghostal.com.

Poester JHndz sends along a pair of DCUC swaps.

Supposed to Look Like: This and this

Problem: The DCUC Green Lantern Hal Jordan has been swapped for a DC Direct Hal Jordan; not actually that bad a trade, to be honest. Kinda weird really, since this is the most easily-available Hal Mattel has made, whereas that DCD Hal Jordan is harder to find. The second figure is a JLU Black Manta in place of Deadshot, and it’s clearly wrong.

Karmic Payback: The troll or trolls who perpetrated this crime are caught on camera self-pleasuring to World of Warcraft, which is then uploaded to YouTube for all to see.

Toy Aisle Trolls > Rodian Deadeye

April 4, 2011 | Poe

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe AT poeghostal.com.

Phil of Battlegrip found this sad sight at Target.

Supposed to look like: This

Problem: Rodian was swapped with…some military dude. Is he G.I. Joe? CORPS?

Karmic payback: The offender accidentally swallows the loose Rodian figure while wolfing down his post-trollage-celebratory Taco Bell dinner, causing an intestinal blockage and resulting in a hospital visit that costs him approximately 150x the price of the toy if he’d just paid for it like a non-worthless member of society.

Toy Aisle Trolls > Battle with Vendor

March 29, 2011 | Poe

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe AT poeghostal.com.

Poester Nerdbot found this sadness in the city that never sleeps.

Upon discovering this, Nerdbot proceeded to have his own battle over Endor–with the store staff.

I just saw this at the Times Square Toys R Us tonight. Some troll apparently returned one of the new Battle Over Endor sets — after replacing the contents with a much older Power of the Force pilot set. After a little Internet research, I found it here: http://www.rebelscum.com/POTF2rebelpilots.asp

I tried to explain what must have happened to some employees. (“But they’re the same.” “No, they’re not. Someone replaced the new figures with these that are probably 6 or 7 years old…” (At that point I didn’t know exactly what they were, but just looking at their poor articulation – and the fact that I had no recollection of them – told me they had to be several years old.))  I think they finally understood, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see that set out there again.

Karmic Payback: While the troll is passed out from a combination of weed, absinthe and Doritos, his pet guano beetles escape and eat his right hand.

Toy Aisle Trolls > KaraLoki

March 23, 2011 | Poe

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe AT poeghostal.com.

Poester Barbecue17 conjures up this mystery.

My wife and I were out at our local Walmart in Shelby, NC when we noticed this Loki figure from the new Thor line.  (Actually, we noticed the absence of the figure.)  My first thought was that this was just the work of some juvenile delinquent, but upon closer inspection I noticed that the figure seems to be simply missing from the packaging.  The packaging was perfectly fine and still neatly sealed, along with every other figure nearby appearing to be case-fresh.  This led me to a horrifying realization of Lovecraftian proportions: Either Toy Aisle Trolls have infiltrated Hasbro themselves, or they have started developing the terrifying power to simply remove action figures from sealed blister cards using the powers of their minds!!  Perhaps no blister card will be safe from their ungodly powers!

Karmic Payback: Unclear, as this may or may not have been the act of a human. But Loki is the trickster god, so this is rather fitting…

Toy Aisle Trolls > Gone-E Chavo

March 21, 2011 | Poe

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe AT poeghostal.com.

First off, I apologize for the post title. I’m not even sure it works pronunciation-wise.

I actually have a backlog of these T.A.T.s right now…sad really. Anyway, today’s comes from Poester 3B.

Writes 3B:

I found this one at Target. It appears to be a blatant in-house swap. The figure inside the box is Jeff Jarrett from Jakks Pacific’s TNA line. You’ll notice the figure is still in it’s original hexagonal bubble and was just stuffed inside the Mattel box. The odd thing is Mattel’s Elite figures have been on sale for $10 for several weeks now. That’s the same price the TNA figures sell for.