Toy Aisle Trolls > KaraLoki

March 23, 2011 | Poe

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe AT poeghostal.com.

Poester Barbecue17 conjures up this mystery.

My wife and I were out at our local Walmart in Shelby, NC when we noticed this Loki figure from the new Thor line.  (Actually, we noticed the absence of the figure.)  My first thought was that this was just the work of some juvenile delinquent, but upon closer inspection I noticed that the figure seems to be simply missing from the packaging.  The packaging was perfectly fine and still neatly sealed, along with every other figure nearby appearing to be case-fresh.  This led me to a horrifying realization of Lovecraftian proportions: Either Toy Aisle Trolls have infiltrated Hasbro themselves, or they have started developing the terrifying power to simply remove action figures from sealed blister cards using the powers of their minds!!  Perhaps no blister card will be safe from their ungodly powers!

Karmic Payback: Unclear, as this may or may not have been the act of a human. But Loki is the trickster god, so this is rather fitting…

Toy Aisle Trolls > Silverjolt

March 18, 2011 | Poe

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe AT poeghostal.com.

Today’s travesty is an oldie but goodie, in that the photo was taken two years ago by Poester RM.

Writes RM:

This one’s 2 years old, but I thought your readers would find it “interesting.”

Just sitting there all neatly sealed up, on shelf with the other Transformers at my local Big W store.

It has 2 broken parts of something, a grey claw, and a blaze orange missle. All tied to the plastic tray inside, but CLEARLY not a toy, much less the Transformer that belongs in that box (or any sort of Transformer at all).

Totally unbelieveable!

Toy Aisle Trolls > Go ahead, ruin my day

March 14, 2011 | Poe

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe AT poeghostal.com.

I’ve been getting a slew of TAT submissions lately–apparently trolls the world over have been emboldened by Jon Cryer’s coming-out party. Anyway, this one comes from Toyninjas:

Writes Toyninjas:

After purchasing the new Pokemon game I made my way to the action figure isle. Lo and behold I find this gem. Deadpool theft is very unfortunate.

Bleh–this is your standard, straight-up trolling, taking the desirable fig and swapping it with one no one wants.

Convince me otherwise, world.

Toy Aisle Trolls > RU[serious]2?

March 10, 2011 | Poe

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe AT poeghostal.com.

Today’s TAT arrives from Poester Marc:

Wow, Shaak Ti’s shorter than I expected. And more mechanical. And more cheap-piece-of-non-articulated-crap. And–

Hey wait a minute.

Shaak Ti is still in there. Her robe’s been taken off and is stuck behind R2, but she’s still in there.

What…what the hell is going on here? As Marc puts it:

Don’t know what’s going on here. Opened, R2 inserted and Shakk Tii is undressed and put back in. Who knows.

Not me. Not…not me. Was this even a troll? Or just a confused employee trying to fix a return? OR GREMLINS?! I think it was gremlins.

Toy Aisle Trolls > Low Point

March 7, 2011 | Poe

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe AT poeghostal.com.

Poester K. sends in this sad commentary on some of the people in our hobby.

Writes K.:

At my local Walmart in Lockport, IL, which is rated by the company as one of its top 5 stores in the country somehow, I am constantly finding these horrible swap outs. I’ve brought them to the store’s attention and different managers many times. I am pretty sure it is the same troll that has been doing this to at least 30 figures I’ve found since the Rise of Cobra line came out.

Yesterday’s find of the just-released vhtf Low-Light was particularly horrible and I had to take a picture before I turned him over to the Toy Department Manager.

For some reason, this one just out-and-out pisses me off as an example of blatant theft. I’m not even going to make fun of the creepy shirtless dude in the helmet. I’m just going to wish the worst upon the human being who did this, no doubt created when an irradiated sperm met a gangrenous egg.

But I commend K. for actually taking some action this time–if he reads this post, perhaps he can let us know whether the manager actually took the thing off the shelf?

Ten Classic G.I. Joe Icons That Require a Pursuit of Cobra Makeover

March 4, 2011 | Monte

Monte Williams returns to Poe Ghostal’s Points of Articulation to counter the cloying Mattel love with some praise and speculation for the world’s greatest toy company, Hasbro.

Ten Classic G.I. Joe Icons That Require a Pursuit of Cobra Makeover

Or

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Start Loving Small-Scale G.I. Joes

The Pursuit of Cobra series features the most awe-inspiring figures Hasbro has ever produced under its many G.I. Joe banners. Like Mattel’s Masters of the Universe series of 2002, Pursuit of Cobra takes classic character designs and increases their dynamism by roughly three hundred-percent… and then adds stellar articulation and a dizzying array of accessories.

Thus far, Hasbro has treated Joe fans to Pursuit of Cobra updates of Destro, Spirit, Firefly, and many other classic G.I. Joe characters.

So who should they update next? (more…)