In honor of the impending release of Hellboy II: The Golden Army, I’ll be putting up a few HB-related posts this week. Enjoy!

Ten Things About Life I Learned from Hellboy

Don’t judge a demon by his bright red skin, tail, horns, or habit of occasionally almost bringing about the apocalypse.

If you slam a wooden pole into a vampire charging at you on his undead horse, he will explode.

If it has huge tentacles, breathes fire, or crawls into your world through an extradimensional gate, shoot it–preferably with the largest handgun ever made.

I’m fireproof. You’re not.

Recently-resurrected vampires spouting arch dialogue are difficult to take seriously when they’re not wearing pants.

If you find yourself getting down because your mom was a sixteenth-century witch and your dad is an archduke of Hell, just remember–every family has issues.

Never trust anyone whose head flies off in the middle of the night. It’s just common sense.

For absolute comfort, nothing beats the feel of a heavy trenchcoat over one’s bare chest.

Homunculi are people too. Well, sort of. I guess technically they’re homunculi, but…you know what I mean.

When all else fails, hit it with your rock-like fist again and again and again.