In the Northwoods of Wisconsin there is a toy aisle hidden in a hardware store that time has forgotten. Most of the toys for sale there date back to the early 1990s and a some are even older than that. This hardware store in question is located in a town neighboring the one where I grew up, the population of which is only about four hundred people. In my youth, the store had more than one toy aisle, but as the stuff sells, they seem to be reordering less. It’s a surreal experience that I just had to share. Now let’s check this stuff out:

It’s a toy oven sporting a Care Bear on it. Yeah, I know. I’m guessing its from the 1980s, since that’s an old school styled Care Bear.

That Colorblaster is also friggen old, judging by the hot pink flamingos on the box that just scream horrid 90s art style. My wife has also informed me that she got one of these for her 11th birthday and she just turned 27 this week. I’ll let you do the math.

I love this slot car set. I can’t say I’m an expert, but I believe those cars are 80s style Ford Thunderbirds just before they got a little bit slimmer in the early 90s. By the way, I’m one of the few people that cares about the stylings of a car that wasn’t popular since the ’50s.

Here’s a copy of “Yahoo Buckaroo”, a board game from 1991. I seem to remember there being some sort of silly commercial that went along with it, but I can’t find it on Youtube. Does anyone else remember this game?

I’m no Barbie expert, but based on all of the other items in the aisle I’m just going to date these as old ass old.

I’m just going to venture a guess that the device that these meant to refill hasn’t been sold in the United States since the first Iraq war.

The oldest item that we could find a date on was a score pad for the a game called Tri-ominos. The date? 1979, a year after I was born. Now we can’t say that was the oldest item for sure, though. There were some flashcards that looked ancient there that had no date on them. I can’t confirm it, but they looked so old that they may have even meant to be used by dinosaurs. Dinosaurs that struggle with long division.

Look! Pog knock offs!

My favorite find by far were these Playmates Star Trek: The Next Generation figures. It’s almost impossible to believe that two Dr. Beverly Crushers and a Klingon female by the name of Ambassador K’hleyr could have hung unsold for sixteen years. I ended up buying the figures, mostly for the joy it brought in being able to do so. I realize that I’m kind of ruining the whole point of the Toy Aisle That Time Forgot, but if someone had to do it I’d prefer it to be me.

I hope you enjoyed this brief journey into the unreal. If you’d like to own your own piece of history, head on over to Toy Bender.com and enter a contest to win a Dr. Beverly Crusher of your own!