Douche of the Day (now Toy Aisle Trolls)

Hey, here’s an idea for a new feature–the Douche of the Day Toy Aisle Trolls, wherein I highlight the work of some complete douchebag whose life is so incredibly pathetic, he takes out his frustration on the world by scalping, swapping or ruining action figures in packages in the store, or buying them, taking what he wants and returning them with other figures in the package. It’ll be hard to beat this masterpiece of douchebaggery, but I invite you to send in photos of any such incidents you come across in your hunting and I’ll honor your diligence with a TAT post. (Also, if you can think of a better title than “Douche of the Day,” let me know–I can’t seem to get any creative juices flowing right now, no matter how hard I squeeze.)

Today’s douche was whoever did this to the single Captain America vs. Skrull Giant Man pack I saw at the Walmart in Framingham, Massachusetts.


What impresses me most about this worthless human being is that he was actually lame enough only to want that crappy Captain American variant, leaving the Skrull Giant Man behind along with a broken Snake Eyes or whatever that is. And of course, the thing is still out in the aisles with a full-price sticker–Walmart’s expert stock maintenance at its finest.

Wherever the guy who did this is, I hope he catches syphilis from his single lifetime act of intercourse.


5 Questions With > Geoff Johns


Nyay estionsquay orfay Attelmay?


  1. Falconhood

    I have pics i can share. I wish this would stop, but it's only getting worse. There is a place reserved in Hell for these thieves.

  2. Fender Strat

    @Poe why even bother with a SKRULL figure? that Bendis retcon shiznit be disgusting. A Queen Veranke figure even more so.

  3. PresidentJuggernaut

    The Framingham Wal-Mart has the Marvel Universe giant packs? AWESOME!

  4. Frowny McBeard

    At my local TRU, someone's got a thing for the ML two packs. Iron Man was replaced with Iron Man, but it was the Mark II Iron Man from the movie. I have to give him credit for swapping him with the same character, and pulling off one of the shoulder pads to fit in the space where the head swap should be.

    Oh, and another one had Nick Fury replaced by Skrullektra. No reason at all that return should have been processed, except that I'm sure most of the employees don't care.

  5. Sped: I think Douche-bag is a very underrated word.

    LOL… its one of my favorites!

  6. Templar

    @ JediCreeper : Dude, the Trolls in the stories you shared are just stupefyingly LOW subhumans! To even brag about the crap that they do ??? I think if we ever catch any one of these losers, we should point & scream at them like in the 1979 version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, embarass the crap out of them (well, unless they're as "armed" as your Razor Ramon!)……Well, I'm sure some other Poesters can suggest some better / creative form of punishments for these douches, eh ???

  7. captainzero

    Awww, Poe,…. syphilis is too good for 'em.!!

    Yea, I've seen it, too. The five pack had Superman with long hair, Lex ripped for somebody, and an old Two-Face substituted for the new one. ??

    I pointed it out to a manager… and he went to show the "returns" people.

    I think his comment was: "You collectors know your stuff."

    Yes, it's disheartening to know this goes on.

  8. I don't see these blatant swaps as much as I used to in the greater Philadelphia area. Back when the 25th Anniv. Joes hit big late last year, I used to see Tele-vipers ripped out of their Trouble Bubbles all of the time. When I'd go toy hunting, it was almost as if I was following the troll perpetrating these travesties. When I'd approach store employees, most of them knew who was doing it … but could care less.

  9. dayraven

    that is just egregious. some people need a good spanking.

  10. I didn't know this stuff was happening so frequently. I never see it. I must shop in the more naïve douche areas.

  11. Nik

    I think "The Toy Aisle Trolls – Douche of the Day" works best!

  12. JediCreeper

    as someone who works in retail, in a large prominent toy store, I have seen all forms of trolling and thievery.. it pisses me off to no end. from GI joe dvd packs with all the new figures removed and replaced with whatever junk they had lying around, to dcuc 2 packs returned as a set of Orion and GL.. to people just stealing the PART they wanted.. we had a wrestling thief who would use a box cutter to get out accessories or figures they wanted (we called him, creatively, razor ramon) (oh, he WAS caught.. twice…)

    we also had someone return an animated skywarp, replaced with the animated sunstorm, who I thought was harder to find.. and the people taking them back never notice, until I come down and show them… its depressing.

    on the plus side, I have watched both kids and adults get caught for their stupidity.. (not often enough, but it does happen) that is very satisfying…

    I hate people… I've actually had trolls TELL me of their plans.. one of them, a skinny loser named "too tall" by all the other collectors, would constantly speak TRIUMPHANTLY of his buying items on sale in one place, and returning them elsewhere at FULL PRICE. whenever he's in the store, I just call security to watch him (which, interestingly, they usually do anyway)

    I could go on for days… but I'll end it for now… its part of why I go to the sites I do, where the collectors are (mostly) actually out to help others. its refreshing

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