Sometimes, between the unnecessary surgery that takes up most of my day, I take a nice long breather out in the fresh air far away from the screams in the basement and reflect upon things. At other times, I’m all about relaxing in my toy room, taking a seat at the table in the middle of the room where I can remove various toys from their home on the shelf and have them duke it out, or have a beer together, or hunt down and kill Napoleon Dynamite.
No matter what kind of collector you are (unless you’re a MOC or 12″ collector and are thus lame) you know the thrill of having a bunch of characters from different properties chilling out together and doing something that you’re the boss of. With this in mind, there are numerous essential accessories that a collector must own so that their toys really get the most out of their lives: these are Essential Accessories.
1. Wrestling Ring
This is the traditional, number #1 must-own Essential Accessory. There is nothing better in your collection than having The Undertaker lay the smack-dab on Napoleon Dynamite, or having the Alien smack Predator in the face with a WWE chair. In addition to being relatively inexpensive, the wrestling ring is very versatile, allowing for all kinds of amusing scenarios AND it combines all of your other accessories – nearly everything, no matter how powerful or mundane, becomes a weapon when put inside a wrestling ring. Scale isn’t even an issue with this one – anything goes. Put the Balrog on the outside and Gandalf inside, and you have the best Wrestlemania EVER.
2. Guns. Lots of guns.
Sure, Marcus Fenix has a gun with a chainsaw on the end, the Joker has a smiley face bazooka, and 47’s packing a full armory in his clamshell, but slam a firearm into the cuddly hands of a Rabbid, and you have a party on your hands. It’s a fact that any long-time collector will amass an army’s worth of guns in their Accessory Box, and you should put them to good use! Give Santa a tommygun! The Jurassic Park raptor would love a shotty! Frodo wouldn’t have any problem getting the One Ring to Mordor if he was packing heat!
3. Alcohol
Everyone loves kicking back with a brewski until they end up tied down in my basement, and your toys are no different. Brian has his martini, Homer has his Duff, they must all be shared!! Even the underage toys – we don’t pass judgment here! What’s more, they can all head down to Moe’s Tavern to chill with others. Duffman – can’t breathe!
4. Body Parts
Nothing spices up a display quite like dismembered limbs!! With various slashers and zombies including various parts of victims, you have no choice but to throw these in with your collection!! There are even whole figures dedicated to providing you with corpses, such as the McFarlane Toys Body Bag and the nasty Happy Tree Friends Deluxe, in addition to the insane anime figures that come to pieces – these are essential!
That’s my word limit reached! Come back next week for Part 2 of Essential Accessories, and post your own in the comments below!
READER RESPONSE!!!
Previously on Doc Thomas Probes, the Doc wrote:
Collectors were broadly disappointed with these figures, and mostly because of the sculpting, but are they that much worse than the majority of Hasbro’s Star Wars figures? Really? Let’s be honest with ourselves here.
PresidentJuggernaut replied:
Um…yes. Yes they are that much worse. Have you seen a recent Star Wars figure? You should get one of each line and hold them next to each other. Hasbro has done a fantastic job in the 3¾″ scale for the most part.
Doc Thomas responds:
Uhh…
Exhibit 1
Exhibit 2
Exhibit 3
Exhibit 4
Yeeeaaahh…
Disclaimer: The opinions of Doc Thomas do not necessarily represent the opinions of Poe Ghostal, nor should Poe’s posting of Doc’s editorials be construed as a tacit endorsement of said views. Blackmail, however, may be freely inferred.
jestergoblin
This pretty much summed up my entire childhood of building things with LEGO.
I always made arenas in seedy bars for figures to duke it out with weapons while others watched. Dismembered corpses were the norm in the terrifying free-for-all. Ninja versus chef? Pirate versus jet-pack-wearing gator? Alien versus Knight? It all happened. All while the rest of the figures drank and watched.
DrNightmare
I have a little tupperware tub filled with axes, swords, crossbows, daggers, armors, and all my LOTR figures are still fully-armed, so where did all these weapons come from?! Har har…
PresidentJuggernaut
Well, it does say part one in the title. I assume swords will be covered eventually.
dayraven
wait, so guns get mentioned but not swords? come on, half my mcfarlane collection was bought for the weapons! i just dumped dough on the motuc weapons, and there's only 2 guns… i like a good gun, but i couldn't live without my bladed accessories as well. the right knife/sword is just magickal.
and for wwe stuff, yes, the ring is mandatory, and goes w/ everything… but jakks has given us ring bells, breakaway tables, steel steps that make noise(!), folding chairs, face dent chairs, barrels, video cameras, microphones, trashcans, dumpsters, caskets, giant tires, 2x4s, barbed wire wrapped ball bats, sledgehammers, announce tables, park benches, TONS of ladders, stops signs, cookie sheets, brooms, kendo sticks, championship belts… you literally could accessorize and entire collection w/ nothing but jakks accessories and have a PLETHORA of good stuff for your figs ot bash each other with.
americanhyena
It's funny, I've never mixed and matched different lines in my display (except maybe Marvel Legends and Legendary Comic Book heroes…which was essentially the same line anyway), but I am a total mix and match accessory whore (although sometimes within the same line). Or I'll buy three versions of the same damn character to make an ultimate accessorized version.
I bought Pearl Necklace DCSH Catwoman to give all of her accessories to the DCUC one.
I bought Mego Sinestro just to give his lantern to Sinestro Corp DCUC one.
DK Joker's Thug has Marvel Legends Punisher's extra guns.
I bought the more reptilian version of Killer Croc just to give the human version his shirt.
Not to mention the sheer amount of mixing and matching I do with Minimate accessories.
nerdbot
I'm with PresidentJuggernaut on this. Although I like the Trek figures for what they are (and have them all*, in all 3 scales (only after they went on clearance, though – I'm not that crazy)), they just can't hold a candle to the modern Star Wars stuff. The Star Trek figs might have been impressive 15 years ago, but today they are lackluster at best. As Prez noted, the head sculpts might not be terrible – but the bodies are ridiculously cheesy.
*Except for the second wave of 3.75" figures, that is. Were they ever released?
PresidentJuggernaut
Nice to have a response, but you didn't prove a point there… You posted a small, fairly low quality picture of some of the weaker Star Wars sculpts, which if you take a closer look, is still a decent Harrison Ford and Chewie. Rebelscum has some nince galleries you should take a look at. The molds are also at least three years old, two years older than the Star Trek ones (which are probably the best of that whole line, and still suck compared to the much better Han Solo you chose… go figure…), and the sculpting is constantly improving.
That's just the head. The tubular, inhuman Star Trek bodies are wearing extremely unconvincing uniforms. Hasbro has some very nice clothing sculpts with plenty of appropriate wrinkles and details. There's a reason for the popularity of the Star Wars figures, and the unpopularity of those mediocre Star Trek ones.