Toy Aisle Trolls > $#|+ Storm

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe AT poeghostal.com.

Poester NK drops this terrifying…thing upon our unsuspecting heads.

Writes NK:

I came across this at a Walmart in Austin, Texas, the other day, and it was just so bad I had to share. At first, I thought it was just a mangled toy that got returned and stuck back out on the shelf instead of being returned to the manufacturer, but then I took a second look and realized it was a hairless, repainted GI Joe ROC Baroness.

Holy crap. I mean…holy crap. Who does this? How much effort did they go through when we all know the Walmart employees wouldn’t have noticed if he just stuck a regular Baroness in there?

And how disturbing is that leathery-looking painted chest? Looks like an action figure of Grace Jones based on her appearance at her own house yesterday. Yikes. Yikes. May this dickhole suffocate in his own flatulence for unleashing this horror upon us.

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16 Comments

  1. Mecha-Shiva

    Funny that Storm looks like she's from Marvel Zombies.

  2. PrfktTear

    I think the Baroness paints Destro blue… šŸ˜‰

  3. FakeEyes22

    And he leaves Nightcrawler behind. The Marvel females are pretty lame.

    I kind of wish he had made an attempt to paint a Destro blue

  4. PrfktTear

    Maybe he (presuming its a guy) fancies himself as some sort of a Thomas Crown of action features, replacing the real thing with a cheap counterfit.

  5. Dankone

    Time + Paint + Cost of Baroness figure

    = Could have just bought the comic pack! Wow…

  6. toyman2581

    @ Poe:

    LOL The Grace Jones joke you made is officially the funniest thing I've heard all year. Kudos!

  7. I am now ashamed to live in Austin.

  8. Nik

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

  9. Replicant

    Wow! It's pretty sad when Nightcrawler is the pretty one in a two-pack!

  10. dayraven

    i think this tool deserves something heinous, but not too original, like the nature of his own crime… we get one of those awesome old gas masks that has the hose that connects to the pack filter… and we duct tape the hose up his own arse. that seems suitable.

    i seriously don't get what inspires this behavior, this "swap and return" crap. and i especially don't get "customize, swap, and return."

  11. Rich

    That's awesome! I would recommend a whip in "Storm"'s hand and have Nightcrawler turned around with whip marks on his back. I'ld re-buy that repack for display purposes.

  12. Mecha-Shiva

    Nightcrawler:"Mein Gott!"

  13. That poor Nightcrawler looks appalled to be in there. Still, this is a disturbing one.

  14. Ben

    The kids of today just aren't going to fully appreciate that Grace Jones joke. But us children of the 1980s? Well played, sir!

  15. Barbecue17

    This is getting hard to believe that folks would go to so much trouble to do these things.

    I don't agree with it and am not attempting to justify it, but I can understand why someone might buy the DCUC 5-pack and replace the Two-face, Catwoman, and Luthor with old Marvel legends. I cannot begin to understand why someone would repaint a 3 3/4 inch figure to replace the figure they are stealing from a 12 dollar set (or replacing a 2 dollar generic G.I. Joe figure with a Darth Maul figure? Who does that?)

    I believe that through toy aisle trolls, Poe has stumbled upon a previosuly unknown and unexplored sexual fetish….

  16. 3B

    I can only imagine this troll giggling to himself as he "repaints" the figure, thinking how clever he is. What a dumbass.

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