Toy Aisle Trolls > BeachHead & Wild Bill’s Bogus Journey

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to

Submitted by: makelittlesharks

Found this amalgamation of Marvel Universe and G.I. Joe Comic Packs at a Toys’R’Us in Florida. I read alot of Marvel G.I. Joe comics back in the day but somehow missed BeachHead and Wild Bill’s  “Greatest Battle.” This took some thought on the Troll’s part, considering how the transplanted figures slightly resemble BeachHead & Wild Bill, who are from two different Comic Packs. He wasn’t brave enough to put the comic book in facing the right way, though.

Karmic Curse: May you grow so wealthy you can afford the finest hospice care.


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  1. Josh

    This is pretty lame on the Trolls part. But the Karmic Curse strikes me as even worse taste.

    • I actually thought it was a little ambiguous…you could end up in a hospice after a long full life.

      But if the karmic curses weren't at least a little mean, the troll might read it and just laugh. I want them to feel insulted. Incidentally, since I started doing them again I've been pulling them all from a list of Yiddish curses (I slightly modified this one, using "hospice care" instead of "specialists").

      I'm curious what others think, though–are these karmic curses too mean? I could just go back to dropping them altogether.

    • No, they're not too mean at all. Anyone who says they're too mean are either incredibly sensitive, or they are the thieves in question.

  2. AmericanHyena

    I have personally turned in over a 100 different figures to various Toys’r’Us and Walmart (mostly DCUC with a healthy mix of WWE — thieves LOVE stealing title belts). Oddly it’s almost never Target.

    But yeah… L.A. has got to be one of the worst areas in the world for that nonsense. Especially the San Fernando Valley. Just before X-Mas I wound up having to take over a dozen DCUC to the management desk AT ONE STORE.

  3. nerdbot

    I have noticed recently, when returning a few things, some welcome scrutiny from the clerks at both Toys R Us and Target where they gave the package a once over, presumably looking for such signs of tampering. This is great, but I'm afraid it's too easy to thwart.

    Opening up the new Marvel Legends recently, I noticed just how easy it was to open the package without seriously damaging it. The tape used to seal the blister to the cardboard back peels right off, for cripes sake! I only noticed because I'm holding on to the cardbacks for a while, but surely these f@#%stains have noticed it, too: if you carefully remove the tape, you can hinge the bubble up, slide out the tray, go about your pathetic thieving/swapping business, and then put it back together and retape it. It might look a little shelf-worn (hell,it might even be undetectable), but it certainly can easily be done without causing enough damage to raise a red flag for the person taking returns.

    Maybe it's time to reconsider the old Marvel Legends-style clamshell packaging.

  4. Pat

    The Troll’s willing to spend money at Big Lots, since both of those guys come with the Power Team F-18.

  5. Zach S.

    This one took way too much effort for the troll…I'm getting sick of this.

    I saw several of the new Marvel Legends with missing Terrax pieces, and it seems like every DCUC I see is missing the CnC parts. I see countless examples of this ridiculous and totally illegal activity in every toy aisle. I wish these idiots would just revert to normal shoplifting, so they could get caught and prosecuted.

    I am ashamed to be part of a collecting community that includes these morally bankrupt cretins. Toys too expensive? Don't freaking buy them, but sure as Hell don't steal them. It depresses me that this feature (toy aisle trolls) has so many entries…

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