The Preternia Poster: From Adam to Tyrantisaurus

It’s time for the fourth and final round of Eternian A-Z, or in this case, A-T. Funny that Zodac only made the first poster, while Prince Adam–an action figure of the hero’s mild-mannered alter ego–appears on all four of them. His popularity is definitely a credit to cartoon creators. That, or little boys really wanted a figure of a guy in purple tights and a maroon vest.

This was another promotional poster by William George, released in the final days of Masters of the Universe, probably sometime in 1987. It’s sad that some of the line’s best toys were released months after its doom had been sealed at retail. The big focus here was on the “Powers of Grayskull” concept, which added dinosaurs and avuncular intrigue and all sorts of neat stuff to the He-Man legend.

preternia1600

If you missed the previous posters, here they are:

Once again, this hi-res scan of the poster is courtesy of He-Man.org poster He-Lurker. Now let’s get started, shall we?

  • (Prince) Adam, concentrating on using the Beam Blaster to mess up Beast Man’s shit on the Artilleray, is about to get ka-doodged by Faker. That, or Faker’s just asking him for a turn on the BB.
  • Speaking of the Artilleray, Beast Man just got served.
  • Sorry, Prince Adam, but the Beam-Blaster just sucks.
  • Note to Beast Man: stop sucking.
  • Look, Battle Cat is awesome and all, but just by riding Bionatops He-Man’s awesome factor goes up 3,452.7%.
  • Blade looks a little too realistic for the poster, probably because he was in the live-action movie.
  • Blast Attak is doing what he does best–breaking in half for no reason. Another winner there, bad guys.
  • I love how, despite ostensibly being Skeletor’s former boss and mentor, Buzz Saw Hordak is relegated to fighting Rio Blast in the background. Fan favorite my ass.
  • Castle Grayskull appears to have undergone some teeth-whitening treatments.
  • If he’d been in the live-action movie in the ’80s, Clamp Champ would have been played by Bernie Casey from Revenge of the Nerds. And been awesome.
  • Evil-lyn is doing her impression of Earth Kitt’s Catwoman.
  • Faker: “Hey, Adam. You feel good–you been working out? Do you like gladiator movies?”
  • Hey, Gwildor–get the **** out of my awesome He-Man poster. And take your magic Spork with you.
  • You gotta appreciate King Randor‘s willingness to get down and dirty with the rest of the troops. Or rather, high and relatively clean, since he’s on a flying dinosaur. I hope he gives his son a talking-to about nearly blasting him out of the sky.
  • After all the Battle Armor and Thunder Punching and Laser Lighting, here we get He-Man Classic™.
  • Man-At-Arms is making a perfect Laocoön of himself. (Look it up.)
  • Mosquitor‘s not really helping, is he?
  • Ninjor‘s incredibly unoriginal name is probably responsible for all the MOTU “blank-or” jokes. Also, that’s the least wisely placed dagger I’ve ever seen.
  • Like Ninjor, Rio Blast always seemed really out of place in the MOTUniverse to me. Cowboys and ninjas? Why not a ’30s gangster (“Gangstor”) or a pirate?
  • So, Rokkon‘s transforming into a…rock and Blast Attak is falling apart. So who wins here, scissors or paper?
  • Is Rotar a good guy or a bad guy? It’s not clear from the context here.
  • Is that Saurod‘s tongue or a laser beam?
  • Scare Glow: “Oh, you!”
  • Am I seeing things, or does that say Sikeletor?
  • Y’know, when you think about it, Snake Face is really ****ing disturbing. Snakes for eyes?
  • The cartoon Snake Mountain was so  much cooler than the toy and its Muppet-looking face.
  • Like King Randor, the Sorceress is “supervising” the battle from above.
  • Sssqueeze‘s face looks just like the bad guy leader from Dinosaucers. Which is to say, he looks like a dinosaur.
  • Teela is Sure.
  • How do you turn a pterodactyl into a Turbodactyl? Graft on some turbine engines.
  • Twistoid doesn’t care what anyone says, electric pink is awesome.
  • I’m not going to say anything about the Tyrantisaurus, because a giant purple tyrannosaur being ridden by an undead skull-faced sorcerer is pretty much the AWESOMEST THING EVER IN RECORDED HISTORY.

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20 Comments

  1. Thomas B

    LOL i love these. ahh if only there were more posters

  2. MechaShiva

    Stuff is hilarious,Poe.So are you going to do the same thing for the old Transformers battle scenes box art?Evil Lyn is so hot,Hnnnng.

  3. Schlonk

    Man, that was awesome. So glad I found these MOTU posters with your comments.

  4. David Cartoon

    I'm sad to say that I use Sure jokes every other day – and no one gets it…

    Thanks for making my day!

  5. BumblebeeZ3

    Blade looks Piratey enough.

    Maybe Sikeletor is Skeletor's stunt double. Although I'd think it would be Sykeletor.

  6. Grenadier

    Forget the deodorant jokes, Teela looks stacked.

  7. Nicholai

    Great stuff all around.

  8. Frogster

    Cool! I was anticipating your Preternia poster commentary.

  9. Ebonhorn

    @dayraven: In reference to the teela joke…I didn't realize that reference was that old…so now I feel old.

  10. Heli

    Nobody young enough to miss that joke would really care much about MOTU, would they?

    Saurod keeps that blaster handy for when he gets a sore throat. Puking lasers (okay, sparks) all day is rough on the larynx.

  11. Poe

    @dayraven: (Re: Teela) I wondered that myself. I bet most are, though.

  12. dayraven

    @Novelty: you only got two… shut the f^%k up. 🙂 ass doesn't count, it was in the bible.

    this was great as always… i appreciate the poe refuses to let us be as dumb tomorrow as we are today, so we always get a history lesson… clever poe.

    i wonder how many of the poesters are old enough to get the teela joke.

    also… if saurod can project beams from his mouth (which i don't recall from the movie, but whatever) what exactly does he need the hand cannon for? i mean, he's no rio blast… also, when/if we get saurod, he's becoming a snake man PRONTO.

  13. There was a pirate. His name was Sea Hawk 🙂 Too bad we didn't get that as a toy. And what's the deal with the amount of cursing in the commentary for this poster?

  14. Poe

    @Richard Grayson: Sure thing–should've done that in the first place.

    The Laocoön thing is also a direct reference to a line in a A Christmas Carol, which is where I stole the idea from in the first place.

  15. PrfktTear

    Rio Blast was always a favorite of mine… maybe it had something to do with the fact that he was armed to the effin' teeth. He looks like a cross between Charles Bronson and Chuck Norris.

    Snake Face was one of those figures I never got, but really, really, really wanted. If I ever had Scare Glow, I would have traded him for Snake Face.

  16. Cade

    @The Flash III: yeah blade looks cool, I hope we get him.

  17. Cade

    Laocoön? I looked that up. Poe was not only humorous, biting, and informative, he was full on educational.

  18. Ben

    I like how the movie characters are included in something that's clearly based on the well-established toy line. "Hey, what are you guys doing here? You can't play with us!"

    I keep holding out hope that one day, Mattel will get around to making a Karg figure.

    http://masters-del-universo.iespana.es/img/karg.j

    Movie Producer: Karg doesn't look evil enough. Let's give him a giant white pompadour and mullet for no reason.

  19. Richard Grayson

    Poe, can you add a link to the other ones? These are great!

  20. The Flash III

    Shouldn't Buzz Saw Hordak be Giant Gear Hordak or something. I don't think that's going to cut anything.

    I wonder if Sikeletor was a misprint or an attempt to attract the Hispanic market?

    And Blade stands out because he doesnt–you know–look ridiculous!

    Cool action scene poster–I wish they still made these today.

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