Toy Aisle Trolls > Star Sores

December 23, 2009 | Poe

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe AT poeghostal.com. Also, please note: I’m deliberately being over-the-top with my condemnation of these people.

Today’s Toy Aisle Trolls comes courtesy of Poester Zach, who came across these examples of holiday season horribleness at a Walmart (of course) in Roswell, Georgia. (more…)

Toy Aisle Trolls > Beast Boy’s Bad Day

November 30, 2009 | Poe

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe AT poeghostal.com. Also, please note: I’m deliberately being over-the-top with my condemnation of these people.

Octane sends in these photos from a Walmart in San Antonio, TX.

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So not only did this scumbag score a Beast Boy and a Power Girl, but he was so goddamned cheap he swapped in other figures and returned them to get his money back (and naturally, Walmart threw them back on the shelf…sigh). No doubt in his mind he was “sticking it to the Man,” but all he was really sticking it to was his own soul.

Karmic Payback: His water heater breaks at 3:30AM on Christmas morning, flooding his living room and thoroughly soaking all his presents under the tree.

Toy Aisle Trolls > Everybody Hates Skrull Giant Man

November 25, 2009 | Poe

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe AT poeghostal.com.

Poester Mr. G submits to you another Skrull Giant-Man travesty. This time, the guy just flat-out stole the Captain America–he couldn’t even be bothered to muster the mild creativity or the $2 necessary to replace it with a CORPS figure.

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Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that Cap the non-exciting part of this two-pack? I know it’s supposed to be the new Bucky Cap (right?), but is he really that popular?

Once again, Walmart has re-shelved the item sans Cap. It makes me wonder how many vandalized packages aren’t re-shelved. If any. It also makes me wonder if there’s anything Hasbro can do to cut down in this crap–apart from not throwing in the smaller figure in the first place.

Y’know, when crap like this is going on, people who do this are even worse human beings than usual.

Anyway, here’s my curse for this perp: May he contract a rare form of leprosy that only affects the genitals just before he meets his soul mate, who looks exactly like Olivia Wilde.

Toy Aisle Trolls > Mr. Horrific

November 16, 2009 | Poe

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe AT poeghostal.com.

This one comes courtesy of Sir Real. Someone thought they were pretty damned funny swapping out a DCUC Mr. Terrific for a JLU Mr. Terrific. But they weren’t funny. They were just a ****head (fill in with the four-letter word of your choice).

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Here’s a question: why did this a-hole take off the figure’s jacket? What the hell’s up with that? Is he so unable to contain his perversions that he must strip his action figures? Oh, and the BAF part’s missing, too–Giganta’s right leg. I don’t even want to think what this freak wanted that for.

Let’s all hope the perpetrator of this particular crime drowns in a vat of rancid molasses, painfully inhaling the hot, decaying viscous fluid into his lungs before life ebbs away.

Douche of the Day (now Toy Aisle Trolls)

November 11, 2009 | Poe

Hey, here’s an idea for a new feature–the Douche of the Day Toy Aisle Trolls, wherein I highlight the work of some complete douchebag whose life is so incredibly pathetic, he takes out his frustration on the world by scalping, swapping or ruining action figures in packages in the store, or buying them, taking what he wants and returning them with other figures in the package. It’ll be hard to beat this masterpiece of douchebaggery, but I invite you to send in photos of any such incidents you come across in your hunting and I’ll honor your diligence with a TAT post. (Also, if you can think of a better title than “Douche of the Day,” let me know–I can’t seem to get any creative juices flowing right now, no matter how hard I squeeze.)

Today’s douche was whoever did this to the single Captain America vs. Skrull Giant Man pack I saw at the Walmart in Framingham, Massachusetts.

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What impresses me most about this worthless human being is that he was actually lame enough only to want that crappy Captain American variant, leaving the Skrull Giant Man behind along with a broken Snake Eyes or whatever that is. And of course, the thing is still out in the aisles with a full-price sticker–Walmart’s expert stock maintenance at its finest.

Wherever the guy who did this is, I hope he catches syphilis from his single lifetime act of intercourse.

Your daily dose of something to hate

September 2, 2009 | Poe

Let’s all hate the anonymous scumbag turd who did this.

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Paul on RTM tells the tale:

Had to go back to work early Sunday and pick up a flash drive someone left for me and along the way I stopped in at a Wal-Mart, just to have a look around. No new DCUC singles, but what did I see on the bottom shelf? Yes, the fabled DCUC Gotham City 5-pack. I haven’t really wanted the darn thing, but I did sort of want to buy it after seeing it in person. That is until I lifted it up to eye level and immediately saw that Lex Luthor had been replaced by Green Lantern. Not just any Green Lantern, one of the ones with a reversed right forearm. Also, the scalper-scum had added insult to injury by making his own little crude symbol of something that looks like a hand flipping the bird along with the words “GOT FIRST.” I took the five-pack and showed it to a Wal-mart employee and told him what had happened. He acted like he understood, but as I walked away, I saw him head back to the toy department with it….just all-around disgusting.