Toy Aisle Trolls > The Devil’s Hands on Idle Playthings

October 20, 2010 | Poe

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe AT poeghostal.com. Also, please note: I’m deliberately being over-the-top with my condemnation of these people–I don’t actually wish bodily harm upon them. Just severe mental anguish.

Poester Magneto76 sends in this interesting little item. First off, the scuzzbag swaps not one, but two Hand Ninjas for a couple of the 10,000,000+ Snake Eyes produced since the movie came out. That’s already enough to make him one of the worst human beings ever to appear in T.A.T., but initially it does appear that he has some interest in actually trying to make the swap look realistic.

But then he flat-out steals both Wolverines’ hands.

Look, I don’t collect Marvel Universe, but why the hell would anyone want to do that? What is wrong with this person–besides the obvious? Is he some sort of serial killer in the making, collecting trophies from his victims? Is he working on a tiny kettle of hands?

Seriously, WTF. May his sticky fingers develop permanent jock itch. (Use your imagination.)

Toy Aisle Trolls > Bait ‘n No-Switch

August 11, 2010 | Poe

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe AT poeghostal.com. Also, please note: I’m deliberately being over-the-top with my condemnation of these people–I don’t actually wish bodily harm upon them. Just severe mental anguish.

Reader 3B sends in this T.A.T. from his local Walmart. (more…)

Poe’s Point > On the return of 6″ Marvel Legends

July 26, 2010 | Poe

Marvel Legends close 1

Marvel Legends close 1 by Carls Life

At their Marvel SDCC panel, Hasbro said that 6″ Marvel Legends would be returning “in full force” in 2012. I started to wonder why that would be, given how strongly they’ve been pushing Marvel Universe, and I’m wondering if it’s the success of DCUC that has them reconsidering. (more…)

SDCC > Rustin Parr’s Report, Day 3

July 24, 2010 | Rustin Parr

Friday 7/23

What does one do on Day 2 when the vast majority of exclusive figures on their list were acquired on Day 1? Stroll and go to Panels! And pick up the voucher pre-sale stuff from Matty, of course (incredibly painless and easy – Hasbro, et al, should take note and do the same!). (more…)

Contest > The Wyld Hunt (Deadline extended!)

March 16, 2010 | Poe

This article is a sticky. Scroll down for newer entries.

We’ve all gone through it–that one figure we wanted more than anything but had to search high and low, for weeks or even months, before we found it. DCUC fans do that every week, but it’s not a new phenomenon–it’s been going on ever since the days of Mego’s World’s Greatest Superheroes and, of course, Star Wars.

I have a few tales of toy hunts, but none more memorable than the Great Turtle Hunt of 1989. For Christmas that year I wanted nothing but Ninja Turtle action figures. Of course, that was the year every kid my age wanted Ninja Turtle action figures, so they were virtually impossible to find. My parents, having become very familiar with the difficulties of finding popular toys around the holidays (thank you, Cabbage Patch Kids!) decided to be proactive. So one day in October that year, my father let me skip school and he and I drove all across Massachusetts, hitting every big retailer and toy store we could find. We found a few random Turtles here and there, but finally, at the gift shop of the now-defunct King’s Castleland in Whitman, we found the mother lode. When we got home, they were quickly swept into hiding until Christmas morn.

So here’s the deal. Hasbro has graciously donated a prize pack, seen above. To win it, all you have to do is post a comment below telling the story of a toy you had to hunt for. It can be a long tale or short, funny or tragic, ending in victory or defeat–anything. When the contest ends, I’ll choose whichever story I think is the best and send along the prizes to the winner.

The rules:

  • All entries need to be received by Friday, March 19 at 5pm Sunday, March 21 at 11:59pm.
  • Everyone gets one entry, so make sure to pick the best story you’ve got.
  • Contest open to U.S. residents only. I’m sorry, but international shipping is way too expensive these days.
  • Contest not open to my friends, family or Power Pals–sorry guys! Gotta be impartial on this one.

Toy Aisle Trolls > Everybody Hates Skrull Giant Man

November 25, 2009 | Poe

Toy Aisle Trolls is a feature highlighting acts of vandalism to in-store toy items. If you find a ruined package, a stolen figure, a swapped-out figure, or any other such acts, take a photo (cell phone photos are fine if they’re not blurry) and email them to poe AT poeghostal.com.

Poester Mr. G submits to you another Skrull Giant-Man travesty. This time, the guy just flat-out stole the Captain America–he couldn’t even be bothered to muster the mild creativity or the $2 necessary to replace it with a CORPS figure.

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Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that Cap the non-exciting part of this two-pack? I know it’s supposed to be the new Bucky Cap (right?), but is he really that popular?

Once again, Walmart has re-shelved the item sans Cap. It makes me wonder how many vandalized packages aren’t re-shelved. If any. It also makes me wonder if there’s anything Hasbro can do to cut down in this crap–apart from not throwing in the smaller figure in the first place.

Y’know, when crap like this is going on, people who do this are even worse human beings than usual.

Anyway, here’s my curse for this perp: May he contract a rare form of leprosy that only affects the genitals just before he meets his soul mate, who looks exactly like Olivia Wilde.

Douche of the Day (now Toy Aisle Trolls)

November 11, 2009 | Poe

Hey, here’s an idea for a new feature–the Douche of the Day Toy Aisle Trolls, wherein I highlight the work of some complete douchebag whose life is so incredibly pathetic, he takes out his frustration on the world by scalping, swapping or ruining action figures in packages in the store, or buying them, taking what he wants and returning them with other figures in the package. It’ll be hard to beat this masterpiece of douchebaggery, but I invite you to send in photos of any such incidents you come across in your hunting and I’ll honor your diligence with a TAT post. (Also, if you can think of a better title than “Douche of the Day,” let me know–I can’t seem to get any creative juices flowing right now, no matter how hard I squeeze.)

Today’s douche was whoever did this to the single Captain America vs. Skrull Giant Man pack I saw at the Walmart in Framingham, Massachusetts.

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What impresses me most about this worthless human being is that he was actually lame enough only to want that crappy Captain American variant, leaving the Skrull Giant Man behind along with a broken Snake Eyes or whatever that is. And of course, the thing is still out in the aisles with a full-price sticker–Walmart’s expert stock maintenance at its finest.

Wherever the guy who did this is, I hope he catches syphilis from his single lifetime act of intercourse.