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Review > Joe Amaro’s Hover Disc


Once we hit the year 2000 I felt like we could officially consider ourselves as living in “the future.” And boy, has it proved disappointing! No flying cars, no fusion power, no mass production jetpacks, no Ricardo Montalban becoming a superhuman tyrant. Sure, we got the Internet, but at this point I think we can admit that’s maybe 70% boon and 30% curse.

Joe Amaro’s Hover Disc goes on sale Monday, December 9


Joe Amaro’s Hover Disc (which I rather ebulliently described here), goes on sale this Monday, December 9 at 7 p.m. Central time. Here’s the sale page: http://www.castlewarriors.net/index.html

Joe Amaro’s Hover Disc!

Do your Evil Warriors find themselves looking up helplessly as Stratos soars off into the blue? Do you find your stormtroopers’ aim a bit too good and think they need the challenge of balancing on a gravity-defying disc while pursuing their foes? Then you need Joe Amaro’s patented Hover Disc!*

The secret to the Hover Disc are its three Oppositive Graviton Hemispheres, which negate the very force of gravity itself! Choose from two stylish colors, gray or black. Optional foot straps keep you safe and secure as you soar through the sky.**

Available November 2013 for a mere $20 apiece, Joe Amaro’s Hover Discs will guarantee your troops’ total victory!***


*Patent pending.

**Foot straps not yet an option.

***Total victory not guaranteed.

Attack of the Death Trooper (Star Wars Black Zombie Sandtrooper Custom by Joe Amaro)



Twelve hours.

Twelve hours was all the time it had taken for nearly the entire crew of the Star Destroyer Vector – all 46,700 personnel – to die.

Ensign Bran Fenrell didn’t know why he’d been spared. He didn’t know why, just a few hours earlier, his bunkmate, Ryas, had drowned in his own blood just a few feet away. Fenrell himself had felt no ill effects, except for the painful knot of nausea that caused him to vomit all over the floor of their quarters as his bunkmate and friend gasped and writhed.

Finally Ryas had let out a slow, lifeless breath, like a deflating balloon, and lay still. Fenrell hadn’t bothered contacting the infirmary because by that point, everyone knew there was nothing that could be done. Whatever had been unleashed upon the Vector, it was invariably fatal.

Fenrell had sat on his bunk for hours, in shock, as the corpse of his fellow ensign putrefied across from him. He knew he’d have to leave eventually, though he had no idea where he would go.

He was considering his limited options when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flicker of movement on the opposite bunk.

He stared. He couldn’t have actually seen that, could he? His nerves were getting to him. But there it was again – he saw it clearly this time. Ryas’s finger had moved.

Fenrell hesitated, then crossed over to the other bunk. Could it be true? Could Ryas still be alive?

He looked over Ryas’s body. The skin of the ensign’s face and hands had turned to a gray-greenish color, with a rough, dried-out texture. It seem to hang loosely, although Ryas had been a bit overweight in life.

There was a slight hiss of air from the body. Was Ryas still breathing? A thought struck Fenrell – could Ryas actually have survived the infection? Could he be getting better? Or was this just the last bit of air escaping from a rotting corpse? Slowly, Fenrell leaned closer over Ryas, turning his head to listen for an intake of breath.

That’s when Ryas bit his ear off.

Fenrell screamed, blood spurting between his fingers as he clutched the ragged remains of his ear. Ryas lunged for him, sinking his teeth into Fenrell’s arm. The thing had terrible strength, and it was all Fenrell could do to tear it away. A chunk of his forearm came away in the monster’s jaws.

Fenrell ran for the door and frantically punched in the code to unlock it. Mercifully, he got the code in one try and the door slid open. As he fled, he glanced back to see the thing chewing with what seemed like deliberate concentration on the flesh of his arm, an almost beatific expression on its face. Torn bits of black uniform, sticky with blood and offal, clung to the thing’s lips.

Clutching his forearm and trying to ignore the desperate throbbing of his missing ear, Fenrell staggered through the door, being sure to lock it behind him. The thing that had been Ryas could have unlocked it from the inside, but Fenrell doubted it would remember how.

He found himself leaning along the corridor wall as he struggled to walk, leaving a long, bloody smear. He came to the end of the corridor and turned the corner…

…and found himself facing a squad of Field Stormtroopers. He recognized them by their yellow pauldrons and the rail detonators that dangled from their hands…

…their green, mutilated hands…

Fenrell managed one last scream, and then they were upon him.

I know zombies are probably kind of uncool at this point – particularly the tendency to insert zombies into any geek franchise you can imagine. But Joe Schreiber’s novel Death Troopers came out three years ago, when the whole zombie thing was a bit closer to its height. I wasn’t even into Star Wars at the time but I still bought it when it came out, primarily because I found zombies in the SW galaxy a more interesting idea than, say, the Marvel universe.

Part of that novelty was because Star Wars doesn’t typically veer into R-rated territory. Fifteen years ago, LucasFilm gave author Daniel Keys Moran a hard time for a scene in his Boba Fett story for Tales of the Bounty Hunters in which a mass murderer is executed by being eaten by animals (the actual killing isn’t even shown). Evidently by 2010 they’d realized there was a market out there for more mature-oriented SW material.

Awesome Predator custom by Jin Saotome


Master customizer Jin Saotome created this Predator from NECA Predator parts, based on the Alien vs. Predator arcade game.

For the record, I’d love an official NECA figure like this. But what I’d really like to get is a Jungle Predator repaint with Dark Horse colors:



Joe Amaro taunts us yet again, this time with his 6″-scale Jabba the Hutt

Joe's 6" Jabba, with the best 6" Batman figure ever made for scale

Joe’s 6″ Jabba, with the best 6″ Batman figure ever made for scale

When you and I hear that there’s going to be a Star Wars Black 6″ exclusive Boba Fett as this year’s San Diego Comic Con, we think, “Damn. I’ll never own that.” But when Joe Amaro hears it, he thinks, “I’m going to sculpt a gigantic 6″ scale Jabba the Hutt!” And that’s what he did. Click the link to see many more pics.

Castle Grayskullman’s Ultimate Accessory Kit Goes On Sale December 12th

Joe Amaro is at it again. For a mere $30, you can outfit your Castle Grayskullman in the way you dreamed. Designed in collaboration with Daniel Benedict, this will give you the definitive Castle Grayskullman Experience – if you’re into that sort of thing. Which I’m guessing you are.

Sightings > Vintage Castle Grayskullman Custom by Hunter Knight Customs

I knew someone had to have made a custom of a vintage Castle Grayskullman (aside from the creator of CGM himself), and a cursory search brought up this one by Hunter Knight Customs. I think CGM is the 30th Anniversary figure that most seems like it would have existed in the 1980s – yes, even more than Draego-Man, who, awesome as he is, seems a bit more like something Remco would have produced in one of their high-quality knockoff lines, since they focused a lot more on the dragons and dinosaurs.

Sightings > Jin Saotome’s Custom TMNT12 Slash

A new TMNT toy line, a new slew of Slash customs. Slash, the evil Turtle, remains one of the franchise’s most popular designs (despite never having gotten another toy after the original), so it didn’t take long to start seeing customs of him from the new toys. Customizer extraordinaire Jin Saotome enters the fray with this amazing piece. Click the photo or this link for more images.

Personally, I hope we get a Slash in the actual toy line – in fact, I hope the new cartoon really delves into the old Archie-verse. That seems like a rich treasure trove of characters and stories, especially since the 2003 series already covered so much of the Mirage era. Which is another way of saying I want updated versions of Slash, Ray Fillet, and Wingnut & Screwloose – hell, all the Mighty Mutanimals.

Getting back to the custom – I have to say, with that squat round head, toothy grin, beady eyes, and the bandanna ends trailing like ears, he reminds me more than a little of Max of Sam & Max fame.

Pics of MasterEnglish’s MOTUC Batman Custom

I realized I never really gave you all some good pics of the custom MOTUC-style Dark Knight Returns Batman customizer MasterEnglish made for me.

As you can see, I also created a bio for him.

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